Lock Rock Pipeline Halted After Sabotage

Venango County's attempt to steal Warren's oil by running a pipeline from Warren to Oil City is coming to a halt after East Crawford County cut one of the straws. According to sources, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville sent one of his troops to Warren this morning to track down the pipeline being created by Venango County workers. The pipeline, according to sources, has been sabotaged.

Mayor Blunders stood before the press this morning to express his frustration over East Crawford going back on their treaty concerning the LockRock Pipeline. According to Mayor Blunders, retaliation is possible if Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville does not say he's sorry.

Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, president of East Crawford County, has not made a public statement as of yet. Sources say that after the treaty created last week between him and Mayor Blunders, the sudden move to cut the LockRock Pipeline may be an attempt to test Mayor Blunders’ temperament.

As it pertains to Mayor Blunders’ temperament, Blunders states that he will not get angry at Mayor Dumbdumb for cutting the LockRock Pipeline so long as he replaces the straw, which according to Blunders, costs the county a fortune.

If Mayor Dumbdumb refuses to replace the straw, it could mean inter-county conflict, which Western PA has not seen before in its history. Reports warn that a draft may be coming to recruit men to invade East Crawford. Of course, we’ve been reporting this for months, and it still hasn’t happened yet.