Locals Unsure If New Noise Is Construction or Town Slowly Collapsing

Rouseville residents woke up to a suspicious noise earlier today. According to sources, a loud, obnoxious quake resonated throughout the town, leaving locals completely stunned.

Upon investigating the constant ruckus, it was discovered that there are two possible sources. Unfortunately, the sounds of both possibilities are so similar that experts are struggling to determine which one is to blame.

Construction workers at the edge of town have been at work all week, trying to hopelessly create something worthwhile. The area is fenced off, making it impossible to determine what they are doing, with experts only being left with the certainty that whatever it is, it won’t make a difference.

Meanwhile, the buildings in Rouseville are crumbling as usual, but this time to a degree far more destructive than the last twenty years of their miserable degradation. Experts have observed the rotting floorboards thoroughly but are still struggling to determine if the termites are really to blame for what is going on.

The mayor of Rouseville has issued a statement informing locals to continue living their lives in the most normal way possible. This statement was heard by all the residents through the crevices of his bedroom wall.

Once construction workers leave, officials will be able to determine officially which source the loud noise is coming from. The borough says that the construction workers will likely be finished with their project by tomorrow, once they realize the town is not worth their efforts.