Local Man Says He Can Communicate With Plants.... After He Smokes Them....

Local pothead Willis Highkite says he has mastered the ability to speak with plants. This came after years of unhealthy exposure through smoke inhalation caused his brain to become demented.

"It was kind of like those superhero movies where the hero gets exposure to an unhealthy substance" says Highkite "in my case, instead of getting lung cancer, I developed the ability to talk to pot."

According to Highkite, this ability is something he completely loses when he succumbs to a sober state. In that case, it is almost like his mind becomes rational and he can only talk to people instead.

"I truly believe this power is a huge responsibility I must use wisely and unselfishly" says Highkite "my enemies are surely going to try to expose my identity and reak havok if I do not use my powers to stop them...."

Yeah..... Highkite has no enemies, we already exposed his identity in this article, and he is technically high as we are speaking to him in this moment, so....... We aren't really convinced he can really talk to plants..... Our suggestion is for Highkite to maybe lay off the weed for a bit and maybe do yoga. This way he can achieve inner peace while also maintaining a sense of rationality..... Sober and out......