Local Man Claims He’s ‘Built Different’ Before Failing Like Everyone Else

34 year old Trent Spackle, a local moron who thrives on exagerated abilities, posted to Facebook that he is "built different." The post recieved no attention whatsoever because everyone knows he's full of crap. Nonetheless, Spackle still tried to impress his zero followers by posting a Facebook live of him trying to swallow a sward. His funeral will be held on Tuesday.....

Trent Spackle, 1991-2025

Spackle was an antisocial family man who hated kids. He was loathed by everyone including his mother who tried her hardest to put him back after giving birth. By the time Spackle reached the age of 9, he had caught 3 cars on fire and burned down every bank where his family tried to take out a loan. With no friends due to his demonic posession, he was forced to grow up terrorizing ant colonies outside his house. One time, his mother asked him if he was goth while observing him drown a chipmonk in a swimming pool. Spackle responded "No. But if you know a guy named Goth, tell him to come along. He might enjoy this."

During his adult life, Spackle invested all his energy into learning the secrets of flat Earth theory. With no useful information entering his brain, he failed to do anything productive with his life like all other flat Earthers. Consequently, nobody dated him because his theory about the world was stupid.

At the age of 25, Spackle temprarily converted from being an evolutionary theorist to a creationist, but quickly converted back percieving his temporary conversion was proof that people can evolve. Local's often stated that if the evolution theory is true, then Spacke is the last living example of the first cell. Despite having a body that resembles human anatomy, it is argued that his brain was unable to break from it's cell..... Ok..... You can tell what we were trying to accomplish with that last line..... Just pretend it worked......

Spackle with be remembered by no one. He will live on in the hearts of no one. In fact, even this obituary will not be read because nobody likes Spackle as a person.