Local Climbers Leave Contacts at Home, Climb Tower Like It Makes Sense

A man and woman are facing charges after climbing a tower as if it were their last chance at recognition. According to sources, Mr. Inever Rest and Mrs. Scraper Hanger were observed attempting to scale the Pittsburgh-famous “Gulf Tower” with no apparent common sense.

“We really just wanted to do something dumb,” says Mr. Rest. “I was hoping that by climbing this, they would arrest me so I could never climb a real mountain again.”

The two trespassers were extremely fortunate. Instead of landing on pavement, they will land in jail. The Gulf Tower, which Trib Media cited as having a 40-year run as the largest in Pennsylvania, hasn’t grown an inch since the day Philadelphia took that claim away from Pittsburgh… tough luck…

As for the man and woman who made the climb, they state that the next goal will be to scale the prison walls. If successful, they will then try to find another tower to land them in jail again.

For full context on the situation inspiring this story, click here.