Little Timmy Saves Marienville from East Crawford Forces

Venango County's youngest military member has done it again! After weeks of East Crawford controlling the capital of Forest County, Venango forces have forced the enemy to withdraw. How did he do it? With nothing but a bag of muffins and an overused spitball launcher.

The city of Marienville fell to East Crawford several weeks ago after two enemy troops walked into town center and set up their lawn chairs. Marienville defenses were completely taken by surprise when they realized they don't have any defenses. Consequently, residents have had to drive to work with the eyesore of two idiots dressed in camouflage sitting in the center of town.

Little Timmy of the Venango County military was sent on a special assignment by President Mayor Blunders to help save Forest County from this regime. After more than twenty days of waiting, 9-year-old Timmy has single-handedly driven the troops away without firing a spitball. Experts credit his success to not showering.

The long wait for 9-year-old Timmy to arrive in Marienville and eradicate the enemy has resulted in almost a month of tardiness from school. Upon his return, he will probably be placed, or his parents will go to prison. According to President Mayor Blunders, this is the sacrifice of patriotism in the Venango States of America. He will be honored with another coupon to McDonald's.