Little Timmy Finds His Way to Marienville

It seems that Venango County's youngest military member has finally found his way to Marienville after spending 2 weeks walking through Allegheny National Forest. According to reports from the Forest Post Pinesap, 9-year-old Timmy was spotted entering Marienville late Thursday afternoon. This came after experts thought he was eaten by coyotes.

The town was relieved to find Venango County's military aide arriving. Marienville has been under siege by East Crawford troops ever since they attacked the town in late February. At the time, Marienville troops were out to lunch, leaving the town susceptible to outsiders walking right into town square to set up their lawn chairs. The enemy has been an eyesore ever since.

Now that little Timmy has arrived, he has more than 14 days of inexcused absences from school. Timmy plans to attack the East Crawford invaders tomorrow after a good night's rest. For the time being, he will spend the night at a nearby pub and recover from his 2 long weeks of living in the woods. We will bring you more updates as the battle of Marienville progresses.