Letter to Pittsburgh Returned After Venango County Budget Fails to Cover Stamp

More than a year and a half ago, an executive order was signed by President Mayor Blunders to change the Allegheny River to the Gulf of Venango. It is now late July in 2026, and Venango County has been unsuccessful in convincing Allegheny County to surrender their rights to the name.

Several intimidation tactics have been used to put pressure on Pittsburgh's Mayor to sign away the rights to the Allegheny River. Attempts to raise tariffs by three hundred percent instantly went nowhere given the lack of trade between the two counties.

Constant phone calls have also wielded no results, with the Mayor of Pittsburgh making the choice to simply block Blunders**'** contact. Blunders only has access to a rotary phone and has no idea what cellular technology is. Despite Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh blocking Blunders**'** number, calls are made daily with the assumption that the voice mailbox is full.

Now, Blunders is trying a third means of intimidation to send a message to Mayor Steelhead. This is the same message that hasn't gotten through for the last year and a half. Blunders announced two days ago a plan to send a letter every day until Allegheny County agrees to surrender the river.

As of this morning, Blunders**'** first letter has come back with a "return to sender" stamp on the envelope. After careful examination by Venango County Secret Service Agents, it has been determined that the letter has no stamp.

An executive order has been signed requiring all letters to go to their designated location regardless of whether they are stamped or not. When asked by press members why he did not just put a stamp on the letter, Blunders pretended we asked about the new Gulf of Venango deal. We were only able to find out about the county's inability to afford a stamp thanks to the Speaker of the Venango County House of Representatives, which is the Mayor's sister. Mayor Blunders**'** sister does not like him and willingly showed us how his excessive spending has left the county without funds for a stamp.

The executive order is being ignored by the United States Postal Service. According to sources, they are under federal authority and not subject to Blunders**'** demands. Blunders says he intends to continue sending letters without stamps until they give in. Meanwhile, he is consulting experts on what other ways he should put pressure on Pittsburgh.