Jokes You Will Never Hear the Venango Republic Make

The Venango Republic prides itself on avoiding controversial humor that could deter our audience and make our sponsors uncomfortable. We are so mindful in fact, we have never once crossed the lines of race, gender, politics, religion, sexual orientation, or homschool boundaries. We never lie and always follow the guidelines of professional delivery. Just like political news outlets such as CNN and FOX, you can always trust us to tell the truth and to avoid bias that isolates a specific group. To demonstrate how serious we take this matter, here is a list of offensive jokes we will never tell on this platform.

Mom and Dad Change Roles

Could you imagine if we told a joke like this? We might offend women with hirsutism (the inability to not grow facial hair)! Not to mention, all the men with chapped lips!

Politics

What a horrible joke! To even suggest that politicians fake empathy for votes! That's like saying Republicans only talk about faith when there's a camera crew at a donor dinner. We all know politicians care deeply about us. Just like in mating season—those instincts only kick in right before elections.

Race

How dare you laugh at the fact that Hispanic sounds like Her panic! I mean, technically this joke does nothing to belittle hispanics in any way.... But still! Lets pretend it's offensive since it is citing the fact that Hispanic sounds like her panic! South Park has worse jokes. But I'm offended that this meme cites the facts that hispanics sounds like her panic! This joke is so bad, we aren't going to do another joke that mentions race!

Race

This is getting out of hand. You are laughing at the fact that the inapropriate synonym for rooster combined with the word Asian rhymes with Caucasian. We understand this joke does not belittle Asians in any way. However, the fact that you are mentioning that they exist makes this incredibly innapropriate! Don't get offended for the rooster or white guy though. It's ok that you used their titles to make a pun. However, this is taking things way too far and we mean it when we say we are done talking about race!

Race

Stop! It's not funny to talk about how tea pee sounds like teepee. Plus, how dare you associate Native American people with this structure! It's not like they were known to live in these at any point in history. What is wrong with you?!?! I don't care if this joke doesn't belittle Native American people. Just mentioning them makes it offensive!

Gender

Ok, we can cut this one some slack. Obviously the person who made this was not making a joke. The womans job title is dishwasher and she is obviously breaking down in tears. This is not offensive because they are not joking. They are just describing what is happening in the moment.

Religion

Of course this is offensive. Those televangelists are pricks. Send us your money instead!

Low Class

We agree with this meme. We don't want to offend them with the concept. Plus, it would be incredibly embarassing for them in the likely scenario that they fail to understand what this kind of joke is.

Conclusion

We will never cross this boundary in any of our articles. In fact, we are so against this, it was entirely necessary to come out with an article specifying the jokes we will never offend people with. We understand that Southpark, Family Guy, and Jimmy Carr have earned the right to offend people because they are rich. This means that if they tell the jokes we mentioned, they are no longer offensive because of who is telling them.

Because we are local to this community, these jokes are in bad taste when we specifically tell them. We would much rather choose humor that is predictable and boring than put forth a genuine effort in trying to entertain people. With this in mind, we satiracly promise to never hurt your feelings by citing how Asians, Hispanics, and Native Americans exist. We don't want to put white people above other races, so we promise to exclude every race except white people when we are making a joke.

We also promise to exclude jokes that expose how ridiculous female stereotypes are. It is obviously much better to let those stereotypes exist than to mock them. Women deserve to be treated as inferiors. Why in the world would we want to make fun of the idea that they are?

Finally, we promise never to make a joke referencing the LGBTQ and the other letters they added to overcomplicate the matter. Frankly, we agree that there are just too many to give attention to and we would rather just keep the matter straight.