Jetfuel Misses DJ Gig: Who the Heck is this?!?!

Friday night marked Jeremy Jetfuels debut as a live karaoke DJ. With the event scheduled to take place at the Deer Creek Winery between 6 and 9 PM, Jetfuel was ready to make an impression that would make him the regions next Skrillex. Unfortunately, whil driving to he event, his foot got stuck in his air conditioner, forcing him to pull off and call 911.

Fast forward and hour later. Jetfuel is still waiting for an abulence to arrive to cut off his foot. While scrolling through social media to pass the time, he sees a post on the What's Happening in Clarion County Page. Some numskull, named Michel posts a video at the Deer Creek Winery claiming that he is the journalist behind the Venango Republic.

We want to make this very clear to our readers. We don't know who this Michel guy is. What we do know however is that he is a bull face liar. He is not the man behind the Venango Republic. This should be obvious since our entire staff is fictional. Why this Michel guy is taking the credit for our material, we have no idea. What is certain is that if he does not stop, he will be facing a lawsuit from our Founder and CEO, Mr. Blobbert Blobfish.

Jetfuel also says that he will join the fictional lawsuit against Michel. That constant deceit is uncalled for and our entire staff works too lazily for some random guy to show up to a karaoke night pretenting to be our lead journalist.

It anyone has any idea who this Michel guy is, we highly encourage you to reach out to us imediately so we can take action against him. Please call us at 814-814-814 or visit our office at the North Sentinel Islands.