Jefferson Military Saves Clarion with Series of Collapsing Tunnels

The City of Clarion can finally celebrate liberation from the Elk Empire thanks to the genius military tactics performed by Jeferson County tunnel hog soldiers. At 8 PM Monday evening, an operation took place to catch the Elk soldiers laying siege to Clarion by surprise. The county capital, which has been covered in snow for months, gave way to a series of tunnels dug beneath the city to collapse its foundation.

Now, Clarion is free from Elk rule and can live continuously knowing they have been liberated from the tyranny of the Zugnar Alliance. In a press briefing today, Mayor Intelect of Clarion expressed his gratitude to Mayor Phil of Punxsutawney for providing the aid necessary for regaining his capital again.

"It is a proud moment for me to realize I am surrounded by allies who truly care for our nation of Clarion," Mayor Intelect told the press. "Although we are tasked with having to rebuild the entire city, it is amazing to see how much we have endured to reach this point of liberty from Elk rule."

Mayor Intelect addresses what remains of Clarion

Experts say that Clarion probably will not recover from the collapsed buildings. Nonetheless, it is still an inevitable outcome for a city about to lose its University anyway. One might suggest this was an act to quicken the process of decline.