Jefferson and Clarion Devise Plan to Take Counties Back from Elk

The battle of Oil City is raging with much conflict between the northwestern Pennsylvania superpowers. Elk military forces have spent weeks pushing through the lines of several allied personnel. Now, they are joining East Crawford and Warren in an attempt to overthrow the Pensylvania Land and Treaty Organization, otherwise known as PLATO.

Overthrowing Jefferson County's capital of Punxsutawney gave the Elk County military control of the Groundhog Day Accords, which empowers them to extend winter into any county of their wishes. Clarion has already felt the wrath of the Elk winter barrage. While every other county is enjoying the transition into summer, their capital of Clarion is 5 feet deep in snow.

I don't think this is Erie...

To make matters worse, Venango County's capital is now engaged in conflicts on all eastern sides. The Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization has troops from every county engaged in the battle but are struggling to hold back onslaughts from the counties of Elk, East Crawford, and Warren County, all of which make up the Zugnar Alliance.

It seems that Erie County may also have an indirect hand in helping the Zugnar Alliance. This weekend, a pizza detonation was performed by the troops of East Crawford, rendering the Seneca Street Bridge unrepairable. The choice of weaponry is only manufactured by Erie's ruthless Pizza Cartel, which inevitably sold the devices to East Crawford by way of the black market.

Thanks alot Erie!

The situation is getting out of hand and requires immediate intervention if the counties making up PLATO want hope in restoring order. Today, President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America met with leaders of Clarion and Jefferson to devise a plan in taking back their counties.

PLATO in blue, Zugnar in red.... Just a cheat sheet for you noobs...

The plan will involve a flanking maneuver by sending troops southward into Butler County before resurfacing in Clarion and Jefferson behind Elk troops. They probably will only last as long as it takes for Elk County to notice, but at least they will be able to say they got their counties back before being driven out a second time.

Troops are being selected with the highest IQ. Unfortunately, everyone is so low on the scale, they are within decimals of each other. In fact, every troop is within a decimal because none of them even comes close to exceeding 1.

Once military experts can distinguish which troops are smarter than the others, a unit will be sent to perform the master plan. Why they don't just send everyone back, we're not sure. But we're just going to stay out of it to avoid the politics.