Heated Debate Between Allegra Obnoxio-Cortex and Elan Klutz: "Tessa Cars Need More Seats"

Allegra Obnoxio-Cortex has become famous for her environmental concerns.

Oddly, one would think that such an environment enthusiast would see eye to eye with Venango County's one and only hundredaire. However, Elan Klutz holds political views that cause tension between him and Obnoxio-Cortex.

The most recent issue brought up by Obnoxio-Cortex is Klutz’s decision to put only one seat in his electric baby vehicles. Cortex, who normally would appreciate the vehicles for running on double A batteries, is actually even more upset than before. She thinks that the efficiency of the vehicles should not just depend on battery operation, but also foot pedals to keep the batteries charged.

Elan Klutz detests this proposal by Obnoxio-Cortex, stating that if he had to put foot pedals in his cars, there would be no need for batteries. “We would just go back to the days of the Flintstones,” Klutz said.

Another area of debate between these two public figures is whether or not oxygen should be legal. Klutz states that oxygen is essential for allowing his cars to breathe as they run. Obnoxio-Cortex, on the other hand, states that because oxygen requires carbon monoxide to be converted back into oxygen, it must be bad for the environment. Elan Klutz only agrees that it is bad for the environment as long as people are not breathing it. Klutz holds the opinion that the solution to this problem is to continue breathing carbon monoxide in order that the exhales will produce more oxygen, therefore saving the environment.

Obnoxio-Cortex has a hard enough time dealing with Klutz and his view on breaths producing oxygen from carbon monoxide. However, the one that really gets her worked up is Elan Klutz’s space program called Space-Z. His multi-ten-dollar industry consists of ten rockets he purchased from Walmart and his endeavor to shoot these rockets to Mars. Obnoxio-Cortex states that Klutz burns fuel to a degree that is bad for the environment. Last week he shot off a rocket, to which she claims he accidentally burned a dandelion to death.

Klutz responded angrily, defending himself with the claim that the rocket only took out a daffodil. This doesn't seem to help his case, considering that daffodils are more beloved than dandelions. Nonetheless, Klutz argues that the ignition of the flower constitutes as lawncare and not environmental harm.

Abnoxio-Cortex and Klutz seem to have no respect for eachother at this season in time. While Cortex is pushing for consumers to stop buying his Tessa baby vehicles, Klutz seems undetered as he remains one of the few men with tens of ten dollars in his bank account.