Franklin Suspected of Creating Their Own Sinkholes for Propaganda
The City of Franklin is suspected of creating their own sinkholes after PennDOT workers were caught standing next to one on Liberty Street. According to sources, several workers were conversing among themselves, leaving many to wonder if they were plotting other locations to potentially dig up the road.
A sinkhole formed just two months ago on the edge of town was thought to be caused by natural occurrences beneath the street. Today, however, much of the community is speculating sabotage after seeing evidence that these workers intentionally bore a hole in this section of town. One form of evidence are the pipes sitting next to the perfectly square sinkhole.
As for the workers, they have not commented, primarily because our journalist chose not to ask them any questions. I mean, why get an explanation when you can just stir the crowd with wild conspiracy theories? Let’s not kill the conspiracy before it gets good.
Other residents of Franklin are coming to the defense of the man-made sinkhole, stating that the workers were truly there to fill it up. One resident, who does not exist, states that the pipes were likely placed on the side by the sinkhole itself to frame the men standing next to it.
The Mayor of Franklin also came to the defense of the men, stating that he did not authorize a sinkhole to be made. Consequently, he believes that the sinkhole is collaborating with the Illuminati to divide the public against themselves. The mayor’s sanity has been brought into question, as well as his existence, after further sources confirm that the real mayor would never say something this stupid.
With the new sinkhole being wide enough to swallow a car, the first priority for the city is to fill it up before further investigations can be made. Whether or not the workers intentionally caused the sinkhole, sources say that the public cannot deny the efforts put forth to protect cars from the sinkhole, with traffic cones aligned right next to it.
“Those traffic cones wouldn’t even stop a Geo Metro,” states Metro Man. “I’ve hit one of those before and was able to win the battle before falling off a cliff.”
After hearing the last quote, we too are beginning to question whether or not the workers are truly looking out for our safety with such weak cones. I mean, the guy in the picture below is holding a shovel, as if he’s trying to fine tune the last details of the sinkhole. Why doesn’t he just get on the escalator and fill it back in? It’s not like they have anything to do beneath the road, such as fixing the pipelines.
Time will tell what menacing plans these men have with this sinkhole. As we wait for the men to plot their next move, we shall also prepare to bring you coverage on the comments from people who don't understand satire when they read it.
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