Franklin's Only Fire Escape Loses Another Screw

It has been reported that the only fire escape in Franklin has just lost another screw. This will be the 9th screw that has fallen this month leaving the escape with only 3 and a half left.

City authorities say they are not worried about the screw falling since no one with a brain ever uses a fire escape anyways. I mean really.... When a building is on fire, why would you jump out a window onto a metal platform that will roast you like a strip of bacon?

The city of Franklin lost its other fire escape last year when it fell on a chihuahua. City authorities updated the city fire escape plan so that if any buildings on the Northside of town catch fire, citizens of those buildings are to leave for the Southside of town and use that fire escape instead....

We don't exactly know why you would go to this trouble if you already escaped the burning buildings, but.... yeah....

The City of Franklin says they have no intentions of repairing the fire escape because it really is a useless invention. No, the city did not actually say this. We only claimed they did so we would have a way to finish the article.