Franklin Man Claims He’s Been Married to a Stop Sign for 7 Years, Town Council Considers Legal Recognition

Franklin, PA – In a turn of events that’s even weirder than whatever’s going on in Polk, a Franklin man named Greg “G-Stop” Caruthers has gone public with the confession that he’s been in a committed romantic relationship with a stop sign since 2017.

The relationship began, according to Greg, when he was pulled over at the intersection of 8th and Elk and claims he “locked eyes with the reflective red beauty and just knew she was the one.”

“Other people see traffic control,” said Greg, holding a photo album full of selfies and candlelit picnics next to the sign. “But I see passion, patience, and really great boundaries.”

Greg has petitioned the Franklin Borough Council to legally recognize his union so he can add the sign to his health insurance. The council, currently split 2-2 with one member still locked in a Porta-John from last month’s Founders Day, says they will “take it under advisement as soon as someone brings snacks.”

Community Reactions:

“Honestly, I’ve seen worse matches on Tinder,” said local barista Janelle Sprigg.

“That sign is more emotionally available than my ex-husband,” added another resident.

Despite criticism, Greg has announced plans for a wedding this fall. The reception will be held at the intersection, featuring a red-themed buffet and a first dance to “Stop! In the Name of Love.”

When asked if the sign had ever spoken to him, Greg nodded solemnly:

“Every time I see her, she says, Stop. And I do. I stop... for love.”