Fossilfuel Says He Will Cut Venango's Lockrock Pipeline if Sewage Pumping Doesn't Stop

Venango County is now facing threats to their national security after the nation of Warren County threatened to cut the 50-mile strand of straws leading to the city of Warren. According to unreliable sources, President Mayor Fossilfuel of Warren, Pennsylvania, says that he will send men to cut the pipeline if Mayor Blunders does not stop pumping sewage through the strand.

The pipeline was initially an initiative to steal Warren's oil by siphoning it through the straw. President Mayor Blunders of Oil City hoped to revive the oil industry by stealing it from Warren, Pennsylvania.

Everything backfired when Mayor Fossilfuel of Warren, capital of Warren County, rerouted the strand of straws to the local waste management. His hope was that Mayor Blunders would get a taste of waste while siphoning Warren's oil.

Shortly after Mayor Blunders' plan backfired, Mayor Fossilfuel's plan also backfired when Mayor Blunders decided to reroute his end of the pipeline into the sewage beneath City Hall, which is the city outhouse.

At first, Mayor Fossilfuel did not seem to care that Venango County retaliated by pumping their sewage into Warren's waste. That sentiment has recently changed, now that Fossilfuel realizes Mayor Blunders eats tacos.

Laurel and Hardy of the Venango County military are being redeployed once again to the northeastern border to protect the pipeline from Warren troops.

Laurel and Hardy have been to several counties this year and are becoming extremely tired of being moved around so much. With no other military available other than nine-year-old Timmy, whose curfew is at 7 p.m., the southern border will be unprotected.

Meanwhile, Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America is calling on the citizens of the county to once again volunteer for the armed services. Blunders promises a salary of five million dollars a year, a budget that exceeds the treasury by five million dollars a year.