Crumbling Town Fines Man for Crumbling Buildings: "It's Crumbling Too Fast for the Others to Compete"

The city of Oil City is facing off against a local property owner after several months of dispute over code violations. According to reports by Explore What's Left, the property owner, who we will refer to as Middleplain Adamantium, was booked into the Venango County Jail after failing to pay several fines for his crumbling building.

The issue has sparked much controversy with several supporters of Adamantium stating that he just wanted his building to fit in. City officials say that although the northside houses look like they survived a 2007 Haiti earthquake, they will still pursue fines because they need money to keep the fountain running.

Earlier this year, leaders of the self proclaimed "city" brought before a swimming sea creature 167 summary citations. Explore Nothing reports that 150 of those citations were dismissed by the gill breather. This suggests that while the man is guilty of 17 violations, this town really is desperate for an inflow of cash. I mean seriously.... How do you manage 150 false accusations?????

The lead for Explore Wastelands article describes Adamantium as the "longtime nemesis of Oil City code enforcement." Seriously???? You're back to this crap???? He just failed to pay fines. It's not like his crimes were an attempt to foil the code enforcers plans of fining other people....

"I'm just not making enough off of these other code violators..." states the code enforcer in a universe existing in Journalist Seaworld's head. "It's that nemesis of mine! He foils my income by failing to pay his fines! I WILL GET YOU FINE EVADER!"

They got him....

Now that the fine evader is under the protection of the Oil City prison, code enforcers are forced to wait for his release before hitting him with another 150 citations. In the meantime, all the other crumbling buildings in town will remain unprovoked since they probably have no money to pay fines anyway. According to sources, all those tax dollars go to keep the bridge lights on meaning they'll have to wait for Adamantium's release to get a steady flow of income once again. Of course, you could also ask the druggies under Veterans Bridge for a loan.