Erie Militia Abandons Millcreek Invasion Just in Time for Dinner

Following the unfortunate death of Llamar Llamley, an Erie native outspoken against the gun shaped Mall in Kearsarge, Mayor Paranoia of Erie authorized opperation payback, in which several Erie militia armed with chicken nugget cannons were instructed to march into Millcreek to gain control of the neighboring rival.

The dispute between the neighboring townships began more than three weeks ago when the leaders of the City of Erie realized Millcreek owns all the land south, west, and north of them.

With Wesleyville being the only escape route, matters escalated more when it was brought to Mayor Paranoia's attention that Millcreek has a giant mall gun pointed their direction.

Millcreeks cliche joke

Despite sanctions that went absolutely nowhere, Millcreek refused to dissassemble their giant mall gun, and eventually fired adult diapers from Victorias Secret stash. Diapers rained down on Erie for days before Erie finally dropped a pool noodle outside the Mall.

No one was injured with reports confirming the pool noodles failure to detonate. After a day of waiting, the Millcreek Bombsquad was able to successfully discharge the noodle with the protective covering of a sheet.

It was at this moment, a Llama, who has been identified as Llamar Llamley of 501 C Alpaca Street in Erie, charged the officers detonating the pool noodle. Millcreek officials claim Llamley spat at them, endangering their safety. Phlem was returned which resulted in the death of Llamley.

Several protests instantly erupted in the streets of Erie before the llama community realized Llamars death was Millcreeks fault. Shortly thereafter, several protests instantly erupted in Millcreek with llamas calling for justice over Llamar's life.

Llamas move on Millcreek

Wednesday afternoon, a massive militia of 4 men stormed Peach Street with chicken nugget launchers. Witnesses report they successfully made it to the mall where they sat and waited for something to happen. Unfortunately, dinner time was appraoching and they had to leave to go home to their wives. Nobody was injured during the battle.

Millcreek's leader, Mayor Wastecash says that he intends to counter the devastating onslaught brought on by the militia of Erie, capital of Erie County. Because Erie is the one independent county without a military, each township has their own conflicting government. Wastecash intends to raise his own army to strike back in hopes of making Millcreek the capital, thereby changing Erie County’s name to Millcreek County. Despite having a lower population, Millcreek does have the upper hand.

The only drawback is that this portion of Millcreek is incredibly vulnerable since the beaches close at 7:30. This forces all defenses to vacate until dawn.

We have yet to see if Erie will try to take the beaches of Presque Isle. Today's attack gives everyone a small look at their potential. The hope for Millcreek is the possibility that the City of Erie is bound to the same standard of vacating the beaches after 7:30 as well. This would force their militia to attack during normal park hours. We are waiting to hear from authorities to determine if invaders from Erie would be cited for trespassing under such conditions. Until then, the primary concern is if they will return to continue the attack attempted on Wednesday.