Entrepreneur Threatens Oliver's Beer Garden With Competing Line of Beverages

Erie's most famous outdoor happy hour experience is now facing the risk of losing a chunk of their demographic. According to reports by the Erie Eardrum, an entrepreneur is planning to open up an outdoor catering experience with a unique twist Oliver's has not adopted.

The woman responsible for opening the monstrosity is one Karen Suckit, of 865 Prick Street. Karen states that she has wanted to offer an experience to Erie that would give Oliver's a run for its money. Now, several Erie residents with a British accent state that they will no longer be purchasing their beverages from Oliver's since Miss Suckit has opened Olivia's Tea Garden.

Picture of actual location in the Fictional Universe

“We are quite relieved that someone in this unsophisticated territory has come to recognize the excellence of a traditional cup of tea next to a plate of crumpets,” states Sir Wilmore of Buckingham. “My lads and I will be dining at Olivia's Tea Garden and will only consider Oliver's if they change its name to Oliver's Outdoor Beer Pub.”

Despite the potential loss of the British demographic, it seems that Oliver's Beer Garden is determined to keep their branding. Experts say that much of this is due to their pride in winning the War of 1812.

For context, learn your history

“They rub that phrase in our faces,” states Sir Wilmore of Buckingham. “Everywhere in that beer garden, even on their merchandise. You can't go a single second without being haunted by the phrase, ‘Don't Give Up the Ship.’”

Olivia's Tea Garden may be just what the doctor ordered for British descendants still impacted by the war. At the very least, the customer base will have the thrill of seeing their cheeseburgers served on an English muffin.

Another benefit to Olivia's Tea Garden is the entertainment aspect. Oliver's has been known to feature bands with modernized styles.

When you take the name literally, the guitar player reached the age of 11 first

On the other hand, Olivia's Tea Garden offers a more traditional and uncorrupted sound. The elegance is unparalleled.

British people have manners and don't compete for silly numerical values

If you are still sore over the war of 1812, perhaps Olivia's is the right choice for you. All attendees must be sophisticated. All coffee drinkers will be barred for life.