Elk County Moves on Rockland Township: Heading to Cranberry on Route 322

Venango County's eastern capital of Cranberry is now facing potential assault with no defenses standing in the way of the Elk County military. Any minute now, Elk troops will be converging on Cranberry's capital building, the Cranberry Mall. The pothole defense system will be useless given the versatility of the Elk species.

Elk troops move through Rockland at the border

Venango County's southern capital of Franklin has no troops to spare. According to sources, the mayor of Franklin has focused more resources on building the Venango County Air Force and has completely left his city vulnerable to ground attacks. Although air raids may help secure Route 322 to Franklin, the new Hammermill 8.5x11 paper bombers have not yet been tested.

Elks current territory

President Mayor Blunders of Oil City is now requesting assistance from the neighboring counties of West Crawford and Mercer. Mayor Dogfood of Meadville states that he can spare one more troop to assist Venango in fighting the Elk. As for the rest of his military, they are currently in Erie trying to investigate a series of exploding pizzas.

Mayor Socket of Grove City also says he will send military aid. With Mercer being known for absolutely nothing, the Venango Republic is still struggling to determine what this military will look like. Hopefully we can figure it out in time before the Elk take over Venango.

Mayor Socket of Grove City in Mercer

As for the Venango County military, President Mayor Blunders is still waiting to hear from 9-year-old Timmy, who was sent to Forest County weeks ago to drive out East Crawford forces. Timmy completed this mission several days ago and is still waiting for a ride back to Venango. Unfortunately, nobody can afford enough gas to drive there and get him.

Jefferson County's military, with the assistance of one West Crawford troop, has been retreating every time the Elk advance. Armed with only Meow Mix and carrots, both armies are defeating their purpose, which would be better served getting trampled by the Elk.

The Venango County military currently in the county is still protecting the northern border just outside of Titusville. Mayor Blunders has ordered a roadblock for every vehicle attempting to commute by way of Route 8. This, of course, proves to be pointless given that the cars commuting drive right by the soldiers stationed there without stopping. They've already missed 56 cars today.

Venango's fate is uncertain. Despite Elk County now controlling Jefferson's Groundhog Day Accords, they have not buried Venango County in snow as they did Clarion. This suggests they see this county as an easy victory. That's sad since we are only a year and two months into doing this satire.