East Crawford to Launch Cardboard Satalite

The invasion of Venango County has been advantageous for Titusville and their space program. TASA has officially announced plans to launch a satellite into space with the strongest material their county can afford.

The news hit the media shortly after Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, and self declared president of East Crawford, signed an executive order to increase the space program budget by three dollars. TASA did not hesitate to hold meetings on where they would invest the budget increase. Discussions ranged from stocking up on toilet paper rolls used for atmospheric pressure, to bread bag ties that would serve no logical purpose. Eventually, they agreed on a cardboard satellite.

The date of launch has not been set since nobody can figure out how they will keep the satellite in the air. While it seems logical to just swing a rope around a branch and pull it to a higher altitude, Mayor Dumbdumb says he does not want it to receive any help to stay in orbit.... Good luck with that Dumbdumb.....

Meanwhile, Venango County is planning their next military move against the East Crawford militia. So far, East Crawford has laid siege to at least fifty cents worth of land, which makes up the entire northern portion of Venango County. Mayor Blunders states that he is secretly planning to attack at night, which is no longer a secret since we have revealed it to the public. Now, he is forced to attack during the day, which is no longer a secret....