East Crawford's Ironed Curtain Falls

The curtain dividing West Crawford and Erie has officially fallen after a giant gust of wind pushed it over. According to witnesses, the delicately pressed curtain, hung more than a week ago, was hung from a stand too unstable to support its weight.

By Monday afternoon, the curtain collapsed to the ground. Residents of both counties expressed relief now that the structure is no longer separating them.

"I don't go to Crawford for any reason whatsoever." states Mable Mushmouth. "There is just way too much to do in Erie. I almost forgot that county existed."

Family reunited after more than a week of separation. Picture taken on Erie's side of the border.

Now, West Crawford residents who are able to afford the commute are no longer prevented from crossing the border. The only concern is what will happen to the Crawfordiot Union and East Crawford's claim to the two neighbors.

"We're claiming our counties back." Mayor Dogfood of Meadville told the press. "I'm not exactly sure why we gave them up in the first place. It's not like the Elk were shooting anything dangerous at us."

Mayor Dogfood of Meadville

Armed primarily with Nerf guns, the soldiers of the Elk Empire managed to take land from 7 counties to form their own empire while also overthrowing West Crawford and Erie to afford Mayor Dumbdumb of East Crawford the Crawfordiot Union he always wanted.

Today, the curtain established by Dumbdumb to oppress the people has fallen. For some unexplained reason, this means that the Crawfordiot Union has folded.

The militaries of Mercer and Venango are now departing. Those sent by Mayor Socket of Grove City have packed their golf clubs and are heading back to their shopping plaza. Whereas Laurel and Hardy of the Venango States of America are preparing to redeploy to Uganda after Mayor Blunders of Oil City learned of protests requiring suppression.

Laurel and Hardy prepare redeployment to Uganda

Mayor Blunders of Oil City has no idea where Uganda is or what it is about. All he knows is that a successful military operation to resolve political tension in another nation will help establish his influence as a superpower. As of right now, even his mother does not respect him.