East Crawford Retaliates After Marienville Take Back Tionesta

East Crawford Troops have returned just outside the industrial city of Tionesta and are attempting to lay seige to it one more time. Forest County troops from Marienville are guarding the city during hours of operation. Unfortunately, the county can only afford to employ them for three hours a day leaving the city unprotected between 12 PM and 9 AM Eastern Time.

East Crawford has discussed changing their troops shift to a time of day differing from Forest County's army. Despite their city only having a rotary phone to communicate, Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville says that he has tried to use other forms of communication, including attaching a note to a squirrels foot and setting it loose. The squirrel just ate the note and ran up a powerline where it got fried like a strip of bacon.

East Crawford troops technically have a new schedule which involves starting their shift just as Forest County troops end their own. Unfortunately, no one has successfully relayed this message to them, leaving them to believe their hours are between 9 AM and 12 PM, Monday through Wednesday, and every other weekend.

Experts say this war is not likely to end any time soon. Not because resources are readily available, but because both armies are stranded and cannot afford an Uber to take them home. Consequently, they are stuck in Tionesta until the leaders of each county comes to realize what a ridiculous idea this war is.