East Crawford Pushes Past South Side Defenses, Jefferson County Military Arrives on Site

At the twelve o'clock hour today, the East Crawford military pushed the defenses of West Crawford and Clarion County back from their check points on the south side of Oil City. Pressure from both military personnel of the East Crawford militia attacked Veterans Bridge and Route 8 at the Petroleum Street bridge.

Clarion County military was forced to abandon their barrier made of university textbooks provided by the Clarion University library. This came as several spitballs rained down upon them in rapid fire that they could not hold out against. Realizing they had no weaponry but textbooks, the soldiers elected not to throw thier coursework for fear that it might hurt the enemy. They've since retreated back up Route 8 behind the Electroloid main office building.

East Crawford advance in red, Clarion textbook barrier in yellow, Clarion military retreat in blue...

Meanwhile, across town, Veterans Bridge has been taken by the other East Crawford military man, armed with both snowballs, muffin hand grenades, and spitball launchers. The single military member has successfully pushed all six of West Crawford's troops back into the north side of Oil City. He is currently using the Meow Mix barrier, with supplies courtesy of the Smuckers factory in Meadville, as a defense against West Crawford's counterattacks.

West Crawford's troops have been split, with some retreating up East State Street, and the other three deviating left down Front Street. The single military man is reckless and prepared to use the Meow Mix barrier mercilessly.

East Crawford advancement in red, Meow Mix barrier in yellow, West Crawford retreat in blue...

The situation is dire as the failing militaries from the Pennsylvania Land and Treaty Organization struggle to maintain the south side of Oil City. Nonetheless, Mayor Blunders remains optimistic now that the Jefferson County military has arrived.

Mayor Phil of Punxsutawney, capital of Jefferson County, has spent years developing a force of tunnel hogs for his military. Their experience in burrowing beneath the earth is one that no other county in western Pennsylvania can match. With Venango County's military still at the border of East Crawford on Route 8, Mayor Blunders of Oil City has hoped for this opportunity to send word that East Crawford surpassed them while they were asleep.

East Crawford advancement in red, Phil sees hus shadow in yellow, Jefferson digs in blue...

Should the Venango County military receive word in time, the fate of Oil City may change for the better, as East Crawford troops would be surrounded on all sides. It is crucial that the two military men making up the senior portion of Oil City's militia arrive in Oil City before the enemy presses any further, lest they find routes back home.... Now that we say this, we're realizing that would technically solve this entire problem....