East Crawford Invades Venango County; Warren County Bypasses Pleasantville

Venango County is under attack by our two northern enemies. According to smoke signals received from Pleasantville, soldiers representing East Crawford and Warren County have crossed the border and are marching toward Oil City.

The smoke signals have indicated that the soldiers representing Warren County have bypassed the industrial city of Pleasantville. Rather than enduring the eyesore, it seems that they have chosen to go the long way.

Meanwhile, East Crawford forces are moving down the stretch of Route 8, preparing to lay siege to Oil City's north side. Armed with spitballs and muffin hand grenades, Oil City has no defenses because our entire military was sent to attack Pittsburgh.

Mayor Blunders has called Mayor Dogfood of Meadville and Mayor Sockett of Grove City, requesting that aid be sent immediately. Additionally, Mayor Phil of Punxsutawney, capital of Jefferson County, has also been called with the request to send all the groundhogs he can spare.

Once again, Venango County finds themselves at the center of conflict never before seen, in what experts are already predicting to be the beginning of County War II. Of course, we're so sick and tired of giving coverage of these mass county wars, we probably won't take it that far.