Dirtbag Cought on Camera Stealing Clarion Woman's Bike

You read that correctly. An actual dirt bag was caught on camera trying to steal a woman's bike from outside her residence. Although he got away with the bike, he couldn't get away with his dignity.

The woman, whose first name refers to a intrauterine vacuum-induced hemorrhage control device used to treat postpartum uterine bleeding and hemorrhage (no joke.... we looked up her first name to give her an alias and that's what Google told us.... we'll still keep her anonymous....), posted her frustrations to the What's Happening In Clarion County Page.

Only woman with a life condemning those without a life..... She has a right to be mad people.... the dirtbag stole her bike....

By the way, if you think we made up the Google definition, here's the proof....

It's not her fault.... the device was made by someone with her name..... Blame them!

Poor woman. First her bike is stolen and now she has a blood vacuum named after her. Can't you people in Clarion give anyone a break?!?!?!?!

As for the dirtbag, he is still at large.... What we mean is he is extremely huge from carrying all that dirt in his bag.... Get your mind out of the gutter freaks! I'm just calling him a scoundrel!

The woman successfully caught footage of the dirtbag posing as a street cleaner prior to him stealing the bike. The photo has been sent to local authorities who are on high alert for the said dirt bag.

Dirtbag being his daily dirtbag self...

On a separate occasion, the dirtbags accomplice was also seen stealing a bike across town....

Courtesy of Artificial Intelligence.....

Both men, if caught, will be put into a vacuum cleaner for solitary confinement and will be forced to have the pregnancy blood vacuum named after them instead.