Crime Plot Thwarted by Brilliant Defense
Crime families were left stunned after attempting to rob a Salvation Army store when the presence of high-end security made their plans impossible to carry out. According to sources, Western Pennsylvania mob members associated with the Lunchandcheese Family were completely unprepared to address what appeared to be the presence of a gun on the ground outside the building.
“We thought this was an easy target when we saw the sign outside the building,” states Little Vic’s Vapo Rub. “It was then we realized that the ‘no stealing’ sign was just meant to make us confident enough to try.”
Once within 15 feet of the building, the Lunchandcheese family realized they were tricked when they saw the gun on the ground.
“It was just laying there,” Michael Frankcheese told the press. “We completely froze with uncertainty as to whether it would go off or just give a warning shot.”
The gang members worked together to slowly maneuver away from the region where the firearm was laying on the ground. No one was hurt in the process. However, one member notes that nobody was hurt in the process.
“We’re just fortunate we got away,” says Frankcheese. “While it seems advantageous to pick up the gun, you never know if it will double cross you. It’s always best to just move on to another robbery.”
The Lunchandcheese family was able to find an elderly woman to steal forty dollars from. Despite having a poodle with her, the Lunchandcheese family was able to neutralize it with a slice of baloney and a baseball bat. After years of committing crimes in the Western Pennsylvania region, the wisdom of the clan paid off today, resulting in no injuries. How did the clan respond?
“We’re relieved!” states Little Vic’s Vapo Rub.
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