Cranberry Mall to be Repurposed as A Sanctuary for Dead Possums

Uggly Duckling, a local entrepeneur known for buying abandoned buildings and letting them sit vacant for 5 years, says he has a new vision for the Cranberry Mall.

"The dim lights, abandoned storefronts, and eerily quiet food court makes this the perfect place to house dead possums" States Mr. Duckling.

With the potholes in the parking lot already taken up by demonically posessed groundhogs, it makes sense to use the Mall as the alternative home for the roadkill. Not only do they have a dark enviroment to feel comfortable wondering around in. There is also extra water dripping from the ceiling when it rains. They should never have to go thirsty again!

Duckling is trying to get approval from the city to repurpose the building which already seems to be beyond hope. According to Duckling, if he can successfully repurpose the building in this way, he will have wasted another chunk of money on a useless concept.

Reconstruction is set to start never. People who believe this article is real are gullible and need to get out of the house to meet people. Social skill classes will be held at the Cranberry Mall at the same time the dead possums are put into the building.