"Coyote Sighting" Revealed to Be Chuck E. Cheese Rat

Millcreek Township residents can relax after another cliché coyote sighting has been revealed to be the Chuck E. Cheese rat taking a smoke break. A viral post on the All Things Happening Millcreek group left hundreds of residents in fear Sunday morning when they perceived the alleged perpetrator as a coyote. Fortunately, a handful of observers were able to identify the suspect as Charles Entertainment Cheese, mascot of the Chuck E. Cheese franchise.

The picture of Charles the rat was posted to Facebook around 9:32 AM Sunday morning. Within minutes, it received widespread attention from everyone acting like they have never observed a coyote in Millcreek before. Experts state that the failure to recognize it as Charles stems from poor quality that would give Erie News Now a run for its money. Additionally, the rat was smoking on a public sidewalk without his clothes on because he is a perv. These combining factors made it difficult for social media viewers to distinguish the rat from a regular coyote.

It wasn't until 11:48 AM, after several people bought their own shotguns, that a local resident identified the rat. Mildred Mouthwash, a local resident famously banned from the Presque Isle Downs Casino, and who has no other option but to gamble at Chuck E. Cheese, recognized her friend instantly after observing the sign above him.

Commenters were skeptical at first, challenging Mildred's ability to determine the difference between an oversized rat and a normal-sized coyote. It was at this moment she surprised everyone with her level of confidence when she informed social media that she would "bet her life on it." Those who can't stand Mildred were pleased by the proposal and began loading their shotguns in the event that they could win the right to kill her. Mildred was lucky after forensic scientists were able to determine she was right.

This is not the first time a local figure was mistaken for something unwanted by the public. In 2017, a sign depicting a 4-degree temperature went viral when people mistook it for a stick figure taking a dump. The internet was outraged and demanded all sexually explicit stick figure imagery be removed from the internet. Unfortunately, they couldn't figure out which ones were unclothed by two-dimensional standards.

Charles the rat has not commented on the incident. As one who works to professionally entertain and scare children at the same time, we chose not to reach out given the level of stress his job carries. Instead, we ask everyone to double-check their sources before accidentally reporting Charles as a coyote. While you are in fear of coyotes piling on your children, Charles has to live in fear of your children piling on him. That is a lot to handle, considering your kids are probably not bathed in the first place.