County Judge Blocks Blunders Deployment of County Guard in Cranberry Walmart Parking Lot

President Mayor Blunders has argued for months now that all undocumented chihuahuas will be forced to leave the county. With the deployment of his new pet immigration program known as "Glacier," elderly women are in an uproar and have been protesting all over the Venango States.

Koala Bearis, runner-up in the election for mayor of Oil City, states that the move to remove undocumented chihuahuas goes "against the constitution of the Venango States of America." Mayor Blunders responded by citing how he only seceded from the union 7 months ago and that there is no constitution made for Venango County yet.

Walmart in Cranberry was flooded with elderly protesters today who state that they will not stand for their dogs being removed from their homes. Mary Littlelamb, a local grandmother with poor knitting skills, says that her dog "moved to the Venango States for opportunity and a better quality of life...." The Mayor responded by saying he could tell this was a lie because "nobody comes here thinking they'll get those results."

Locals say that the protests outside of the Cranberry Walmart are getting out of hand. An estimated 4 women show up every day and keep slowing up the drivers while pushing their walkers to the front of the store. Blunders states that he has no choice but to call in the County Guard.... There is no County Guard....

Mayor Blunders is requesting all able-bodied men to report to the outhouse in Oil City where he can recruit volunteers for the newly formed County Guard. Until then, a County judge has blocked Blunders from deploying them. Not because it goes against any federal laws or anything. The judge just happens to hate Blunders personally.