County Genius Corrects Venango Republic "Our County Is Not That Dumb!"

We here at the Venango Republic strive for the most accurate satirical information on public affairs. If word would spread that our sarcastic platform was misleading people, our reputation would be at stake. Consequently, when a local woman pointed out to us that there are people in the county with an education higher than the second grade, our two writers drew back in horror, so much that our faces depicted surprise in Facebook shock emoji fashion as seen in the picture below.

A local woman who we will refer to as Sonofa Beach, commented on the Venango Happenings Facebook page (page that shares uneventful things). According to Beachboy "there are plenty of smart people residing in the county. I for instance have a degree from a university. Our county is not that dumb."

Our two writers were perplexed by this claim. Could we have been misleading people with false information about the educational status of the culture in the surrounding region? Our two writers looked at eachother with the same Facebook shock emoji faces as seen in the picture below.

These characters do not turn their heads very well.

The Venango Republic was unable to verify the claims of Miss Beachhead. Although it is shocking that a resident of Venango County actually knows what a university is, we could not prove she was even smarter than a fifth grader. Nonetheless, we genuinely wanted to know... If Venango County residents "are not that dumb" then how dumb are they?

There were some things that completely surprised us by Miss Beachbuckle. For instance, Miss Beachball stated our claim of Venango County only having 52 residents was way off. According to Miss Beachbody, Venango County "has 49 thousand residents."

This number completely blew us away! How is it a Venango County resident can count so high? Recent studies showed that the average resident thinks that 52 is the same as infinity. Are we really this misinformed?

We must admit we don't have any statistical analysts on our staff. Our two writers have degrees in communications and as far as we were aware, no one in Venango County graduated the second grade. Despite lacking credentials, we still researched this matter further.

According to this fabricated chart by Google, Venango County actually has 49 residents with a line running through the numbers 431.

You were right Miss Beachbumb. We were off on our calculations. There's actually less residents than we thought. We will try to report this going forward.

As it pertains to the educational status of each citizen, the Venango Republic went to all 49 residents and confirmed only one made it to the third grade. This brings into question whether Miss Beachbottom is actually from Venango County.

We know that the Venango Happenings Facebook page only has one genuine follower. The rest are just bots they purchased from a third party website. Could it be Miss Beachbat is that one person?

According to Bluebonnet Plague, moderator of the extremely unpopular Venango Happenings Facebook page, it's unlikely since she can comprehend 49 thousand as a number and knows what a university is. This just goes to show you can't trust everything you read.