Clarion University Students Warned Not to Deep Fry Turkeys in Dorm Showers

Clarion University students have officially been warned not to use their dorm showers to deep fry turkeys. This announcement came after faculty members discovered melted pipes leaking virgin oil in the basement.

According to sources, university students admittedly used their showers to deep fry turkeys, believing that it was a great alternative to using their toilets. The university plumber had just finished fixing the last commode from last year’s incident when the new trend was discovered.

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“We were taught to think innovatively,” states one of the students, who for some odd reason had her foot stuck in a giant can of beans. “This is the age of technology, and new discoveries are happening every day. We just happened to destroy the plumbing in the process.”

Students following this trend will be expected to pay the full cost to replace the pipes. The university estimates the bill will rival the price of a semester’s tuition, meaning most students won’t notice the difference.