Clarion Traffic Brought to A Stop By Man Going 20 Below

A line of ten cars were forced to take their good time on the road today due to some guy with a lead foot. According to sources, the unidentified man suddenly slammed his breaks after passing a sign that said "brake for Moose."

Despite the sign refering to the Clarion Moose Club, the man still dropped his speed to an obnoxious 20 below the limit. Police say they would have pulled him over, but that would be counter productive.

The man managed to drive all the way to Cranberry maintaining the same speed before pulling into the Cranberry Mall parking lot. Sources say that when the man exited his vehicle, disgruntled drivers tried to confront him. Unfortunately, they fell into a pothole and have not been seen since.

As for the unidentified man, authorities say he still hasn't left the Mall Parking lot. Aparently he decreased his speed to less than zero once he realized he was surrounded by potholes. Experts estimate he will be navigating the parking lot for the next month. Until then, drivers have been given the go ahead to flip off anyone who thinks "speed limit" means "number off limits."