City Solves Housing Crisis By Reclassifying Cardboard Boxes As Condos

With the housing crisis in the worst place it has ever been, Oil City officials have announced a new plan to help the homeless find shelter. A new bill signed today by the president of Venango County has officially declared cardboard boxes real estate.

The initiation was put into act this morning after Mayor Blunders, the self-declared president of Venango County, stated his concern to help the homeless in Oil City find refuge in the cold temperature months. The new bill allows any cardboard box at the edge of the road to be declared as housing on a first-come, first-served basis.

Disputes have arisen as to whether or not they should be classified as condos or portable homes. According to Blunders, the average cardboard box has pretty much the same features as every high-class building on the north side, minus the electricity. The lack of outlets, Blunders has termed as fire prevention.

Experts have weighed in on President Blunder's decision to classify cardboard boxes as real estate. Fearing that the housing crisis could cause the cost of cardboard to skyrocket to $3, property taxes for each cardboard condo may potentially result in taxes amounting to 30 cents a year.

Several locals who have struggled to find work after developing an addiction to drugs say that they will take their chances on waiting for snowfall to build their own dens. When the cold months hit, during the summer, they will trust that the drug lords between each side of Veterans Bridge will allow them to shelter underneath the road crossing the Allegheny.

There are rising concerns about the cardboard houses potentially decaying when the rainy season comes. Mayor Blunders addressed the press today, stating that whatever impact the weather has on the condos will be nothing different than the loose floorboards prying out of the homes on the north side. Blunders believe that the wear and tear on the cardboard dwellings will help them fit right in to the rest of town.