City School Hires First Teacher In 30 Years

The Oil City Board of Education has finally found a candidate to teach the second grade. Karen Dickelbuck, age 58, is the first person to qualify in 30 years after miraculously achieving third grade level knowledge. Karen is a self taught student who recognized the need for higher education after a survey found that 98% of Oil City never graduated the second grade.

"We have waited such a long time for this" stated Mayor Blunder. "Our City has struggled to find people capable of teaching such curriculum as that there 3rd grade."

Mayor Blunder has been pushing for reformed education since the population decreased in the mid 90s. A survey of the towns historical notes suggest that when the oil dried up, all the smart people left. The experts who remain have tried to guess where such people departed. Unfortunately, no one who has ever crossed the Venango county boarder ever seems to return, leaving some to wonder what exists beyond the land they call "Clarion."

Dickelbuck is set to start teaching the third grade next week. All the city residents are reportedly excited to finally learn what this multiplication concept is all about. Classes will begin at the usual time. The city school bus has yet to be tested but the old bus driver is confident it will start after 30 years of just sitting. He too plans to attend the 3rd grade classes.

Mayor Blunder will not be attending. At the age of 60, he is still working his way through preschool.