City of Pithole to Build New Skyscraper in an Attempt to Bring Back Industry

Mayor Isolate of Pithole announced to the press this morning plans for a complete revitalization of his one resident city. According to sources, Mayor Isolate is excited for the new project set to begin as soon as he can find the funds to start doing whatever the heck his out of reach plans may be. Among the plans that he will achieve one day in his dreams, the mayor hopes to build a giant skyscraper twice as high as the Willis Tower in Chicago... Yeah, right.

“We are very excited for the project that will ensure civic improvements across our fine city,” stated Mayor Isolate, who was announcing this big news to a tree stump outside his outhouse. “The city of Pithill has been hoping to draw crowds for several years now, and we finally may have found the formula to accomplish this big dream.”

The funds for the city are low, but with time, Mayor Isolate believes that he may be able to dig up enough oil to justify the cost of the new skyscraper, as well as several other buildings he plans to erect in the field he calls a city.

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“I just know that there's oil beneath the ground somewhere,” states Isolate. “Despite all the residents leaving more than a hundred years ago, due to the lack of oil, I personally know that they just weren't looking in the right spot.”

Mayor Isolate, who has not left his field for more than 75 years, is adamant that the revitalization of his city is necessary for the future of his town. With thugs running wild and children missing their educational opportunities, Mayor Isolate believes that the changes are necessary, despite the fact that there are no thugs and there are no children in his town.