Chicken's Set Loose Outside of Millcreek CVS
An official community report states that an unspecified number of chickens were set loose near a CVS located in Millcreek. The location of the CVS is vague, with only reference to a Sterrettania right below a CVS.... Whatever the Hell that means....
The report was made via a Millcreek community page on Facebook. Several locals were quick to respond with their sympathies for the KFC primary ingredient. Unfortunately, only one felt it was appropriate to call the police. We mean to say that it is unfortunate that anyone felt the need to do so.
Well, if they are in fact looking into it, you know why your community will be late in paying this month's bill for the Zem Zem building you overpaid for (Google Zem Zem in Millcreek if you are confused). Your tax dollars will have been spent on the officers' bonus for saving the lives of pre-barbecued wings.
Interestingly, nobody is calling the cops for the other birds crossing the road in the more wooded areas of Western Pennsylvania.
With no information aside from the vague Facebook post, we are unable to determine what state the chickens are in. All we can determine is that they are loose and potentially dangerous. Experts are recommending locals switch to chicken-proof houses in order to ensure homes are impeccable.
Anyone outdoors is being warned to carry an extra set of golf clubs in case the chickens are rabid. At the very least, these monsters may be capable of flying. You have heard that overused pun suggesting that the swine flew. For all we know, it applies to flightless birds as well.
Stay indoors at all costs. If you must go out, be prepared to use vehicular force before someone calls the police. At the very least, you can say you were helping the chicken get to the other side.... of life....
One final joke. What do you get when you combine a car and a pet?
Oh come on! They've been a primary Lo mein ingredient for generations!
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