Catholic Church Loses Another Brick

Another brick has gone missing off the Southside Catholic Church building whose name escapes our memory because that's how long it's been since people used it.

According to sources, the brick just suddenly disappeared from the top right corner and hasn't been seen since last night. Police are investigating potential theft believing someone intentionally climbed the scaffolding to take the brick from the crumbling building.

This will be the second investigation police have had to perform this week on that same street corner. The very same morning the brick went missing, police also had to investigate the murder of a man whose head was caved in with a brick on the sidewalk next to the Catholic Church. Police say that the brick used to kill the man is partially red suggesting there is no connection between the two incidents.

If anyone has any lead on the brick which was stolen, they are encouraged to contact the OCPD immediately. That stands for Oil City Police Department..... Right now, the police department has no phone due to budget cuts, so people with leads will just have to yell in that direction. It's a small town so they are bound to hear you.

Anyone who has possession of the brick is encouraged to return it immediately and donate mortar if possible. The Catholics would do it themselves, but unfortunately are not allowed to get their hands dirty after all the sex scandals.....