Butler Says They Will Not Restrict Allegheny Passage to Venango if War Breaks Out
Disputes between Venango and Butler began a year ago, after Mayor Blunders constructed a two by four wall to prevent Butler residents from crossing over Venango's southern border. After Blunders sent Laurel and Hardy of the Venango County military to help enforce the border regulations, Butler sent their own military men to ensure that Venango residents were not crossing into their nation.
Venango has since redeployed their troops to the northern border after Warren County rerouted a pipeline into their sewer, which was intended to help Venango siphon Warren's oil. With sewage waste lacking the quality necessary to revive an industry in Oil City, Blunders hopes that placing troops on the northern border will put pressure on Mayor Fossilfuel, even though Warren's capital is nowhere near the border.
Allegheny's role in the conflict stems from Mayor Blunders' barrage of phone calls he has made to the capital of Pittsburgh for the last year. In early 2025, Mayor Blunders declared the Allegheny River to be the Gulf of Venango, but learned instantly that he did not hold the rights to the river.
Blunders has raised tariffs on Pittsburgh several times to try to pressure them into surrendering their rights to the name. Due to the lack of trade between the counties, tariffs have proved ineffective in convincing Pittsburgh to let go of the Allegheny River.
Today, a new agreement may be in effect between the nations of Butler and Allegheny County. Formerly, Butler did not allow Allegheny passage through their nation when it came to the conflict between Lawrence and Allegheny. This time, however, both nations are in conflict with Venango County, giving Mayor Servanthood of Butler reason to allow passage through the nation of Butler.
Mayor Blunders has violated his agreement not to call Pittsburgh, with several attempts made since Monday. Mayor Steelhead is now ordering his troops to invade Oil City to take Mayor Blunders' rotary phone away.
With Oil City's main military members, Laurel and Hardy, now deployed to the most northern border, Mayor Blunders is calling on nine-year-old Timmy to help defend Oil City from the potential onslaught brought on by the Allegheny troops. Nine-year-old Timmy's mom has not agreed to allow her son on any mission after last year's tardiness resulted in her facing jail time with her husband. Blunders has promised to give Timmy's mother immunity from such consequence if she agrees to allow Timmy to fight for the cause of Oil City. Unfortunately, nine-year-old Timmy's mother knows that Blunders' word means nothing, since he is technically only a mayor.
Allegheny troops are coming. It is just a question of when. Now that the border crisis has led to Butler siding woth Allegheny, the planet of Western Pennsylvania is now in a new era of divided nations.
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