Breaking: Warren County Drops Diapers on Tionesta

We are no longer looking at a minor scrum between neighboring counties. PLATO's role in the war with East Crawford has escalated to an inter-county crisis, as Warren attacks Forest County by dropping diapers on its western capital of Tionesta.

The event took place at about 6:55 p.m. Saturday evening. Cheap drones that one would buy from the Dollar General navigated over the city of Tionesta with what seemed to be dirty diapers hanging beneath them. The drones moved in a circle for roughly 50 seconds before finding a target and releasing the diapers. Eyewitnesses say that one of the diapers took out Mildred's mailbox on the main stretch near the center of town.

The seven residents of Tionesta were taken by surprise, with no warning to take cover in their bomb shelters. Once the diapers hit the ground, they released a stench into the air that had not been smelled since a fisherman left his catch out for an entire week.

Witnesses say that soldiers from Warren could be seen retreating shortly after the city was nuked. Experts say that the diapers were prepared by being left to spoil for at least nine months. Consequently, the economic status of the town has dropped significantly, making it half as desirable to visit on a fishing trip.

It is unclear if this attack was orchestrated in collaboration with the recent invasion of Venango County by East Crawford. Currently, the north section of Oil City is under siege by two soldiers armed with snowballs and spitball launchers. Warren County is a longtime ally of East Crawford, making this attack likely associated as a declaration of war against PLATO.

Forest and Warren County have a long history of schisms, motivated by their differentiating government structures. While Warren likes to fish with a beer in a cup holder on the boat, Forest County prefers beer to be attached to a hat with a straw connected to the mouth.

Additionally, Warren prefers Shimano fishing poles, contrary to Forrest, who prefers G. Loomis brand.

War is officially upon the northwestern Pennsylvania region. Plans are set in motion for Tionesta to retaliate. While it is not confirmed, we may be looking at County War I.