Breaking: East Crawford Troops Invade Venango County Claiming One Foot of Territory

Mayor Dumdum of Titusville, capital of East Crawford County, has officially pushed political tensions to the breaking point. Reports say that one of the two troops sent by Dumdum to patrol the border on Route 8 has crossed into Venango County, handing at least one foot of space to Titusville.

"This act against our country will not stand," Mayor Blunders told the press upon hearing the news of the recent attack. "We will retaliate, and avenge the lives that were lost at the hands of East Crawford..."

After Mayor Blunders was done blowing the situation out of proportion, three military members were sent to the border to attack the enemy with spitballs. They technically did leave the day before for the same reason, but had to come back for little Timmy's curfew.

Now, the military is back in action. They are expected to reach the border in time to drive the enemy away....

This just in: Titusville troops withdraw due to dinner date obligations with their wives. Territory has been handed back to Venango, extending the border back another foot longer.