Beaver County Fire Dept. Receives Grant, Spends Day Untying Knots

Mayor Dambuilder of Aliquippa, capital of Beaver County, was able to approve the funding for 40 new fire hoses stretching more than two thousand feet. Sources say that the hoses have arrived, and the firemen are tangled in the mess.

At 10:45 AM Friday morning, hoses were delivered to the Beaver County Fire Department in our fictional universe. After opening the crate containing every fire hose, it was discovered that the hoses were a tangled mess.

Firefighters quickly got to work trying to untangle the mess. In the process, they got sucked into the pile of hoses and are struggling to get untied. Some have resorted to biting through the hoses, which has rendered some as useless as the ones they were meant to replace.

Until the Fire Department can effectively untangle their crew from the coil they received, Mayor Dambuilder has announced a ban on all house fires for Beaver County. Any house violating the burn ban may be subject to fines and time in prison.