Battle of Baldwin Borough Ends in Stalemate After Weapons Discovered to Have Deficiencies

The militaries of Allegheny County and Washington County found themselves at an immediate stalemate in the first battle of the Southwestern Pennsylvania War. Deficiencies in their weapons varied between both groups, as each side found it impossible to fire upon the approaching enemy.

Washington County's 1776 muskets with iron projectiles were incapable of penetrating the steel skeletal structure of soldiers serving the Allegheny military. Additionally, the bayonet charge also proved impossible, as the edged weapons at the ends of their muskets bent when thrust into enemy soldiers.

Allegheny also had struggled combating the enemies of Washington County, despite their advanced military weaponry. When attempting to fire long range, they instantly realized that the steel beams they were armed with do not have barrels to shoot projectiles from. Although they are heavy enough to knock enemy soldiers unconscious, members of the Allegheny military chose not to do so in close combat for fear of injuring the enemy soldiers.

The dilemma has resulted in one of the most unusual outcomes of war to date. Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, states that he has not given up on his mission to reclaim Mount Washington from Pittsburgh. Unfortunately, after breaking his treaty with Pittsburgh, Mayor Steelhead, president of Allegheny County, is refusing to trade any more steel to the neighboring county. This means that Washington troops are forced to fight steel with iron, which is a much weaker substance.

Mount Washington in Pittsburgh

Greater concerns exist for the troops deployed in Lawrence County, who for the last several weeks have worked to overtake townships just south of West Pittsburg, in Mayor Steelhead's campaign to take back West Pittsburg from Lawrence County.

Nope. We did not misspell it.

Sir Lawrence of New Castle is preparing an army of knights armed with fireworks to progress to the southern regions of his lands, in the hope of driving out the Allegheny military.

Sir Lawrence still insists that West Pittsburg, a township slightly south of New Castle, is not the same as the West Side that went missing from Allegheny's Pittsburgh in 1902. Despite his claims, Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh is determined to steal West Pittsburg and claim it as Allegheny's land.

Should the knights of New Castle, capital of Lawrence County, engage the armies of Allegheny, there are concerns that the fireworks launched toward Sir Lawrence's enemies will have no effect, given the resiliency of steel bodies. In addition, the militaries of Allegheny deployed in Lawrence County are using the same weaponry that failed in the Battle of Baldwin Borough. Should these soldiers have the same compassion as those in Baldwin Borough, the knights of Lawrence County will likely go unharmed while engaging the battle in iron-crafted armor.

The war has just begun with the Battle of Baldwin Borough ending in a draw. Nobody is withdrawing, suggesting this war will be determined by who gets bored first. We sincerely hope they don't take weeks.