What You Missed At The Something Clever Fashion Show
- Jeremy Jetfuel
- Apr 26, 2025
- 3 min read
The Something Clever fashion show kicked off this saturday with women showing up in droves. All ten female residents of Oil City showed up after making a 3 day journey across Route 8 in a red colored wagon being drug by a cat. The rest of the attendees were Franklin residents with vehicles capable of driving them around the block to Bella Cucina.
The event kicked off with the resurrected corpse of Prince singing the National Anthem over the instrumental of Raspberry Beret. Prince stood on the bar during his performance but unfortunately broke his hip after attempting to do a crowd surf. Prince, who had his hip replaced in 2010, is now requesting workmans compensation from Bella Cucina and Something Clever who will likely not cover his injury since he has been declared legally dead since 2016.
Following the unfortunate accident, the fashion show began with the unexpected appearence of Darth Vader. The owner of Something Clever was shocked by this occurance since his costume predates her youthful age by several decades. To prevent a potential lawsuit from Disney, the owner of something clever ordered the Ewoks in Bella Cucina's tree to shoot him down with their puny arrows. Vader unfortunately escaped.
The second appearance of the event was the famous Jurassic World T-Rex..... Really Something Clever?????? Is this not already overused online??????
Once all the satiracle costumes were photoshopped into the restaurant and removed, the festivities moved on to the actual designs. Several models walked down the aisle flaunting their irresistable beauty. Unfortunately, we do not have their consent to post images of them online. To make up for this, we have photoshopped other models we found on google over top of the existing models. We are sorry for the inconvenience, but we had to think of something clever......
After the festivities, attendees made their way down to the new Something Clever shop where they lined up for nearly two store lengths...... Our county really is small......
The doors opened unexpectedly and our lead journalist Jeremy Jetfuel was trampled to death like a Black Friday victim. Although Something Clever states this would be a "soft opening" they forgot this was a crowd with the female shopping complex.
Fortunately, there was a wicken in the crowd who plays organ in a local Methodist church on Sundays. After various spells failed to resurrect Jetfuel, she spoke a prayer in gibberish which fortunately brought Jetfuel back to life. She later told us she is also half Pentecostal....
The women were given one hour to shop in the Something Clever store. They were done in 5 minutes. The only thing left in sight was a traumatized journalist who, in the process of writing this article, does not want to relive the events of this day.
As for the husbands who were forced to attend this all female event, they were placed outside on the porch where they were refused any access to ESPN highlights. They were just as traumatized as Jetfuel.
The event concluded with a champagne toast, a group photo no one saved, and an emotional speech from the Something Clever owner, who thanked everyone for attending despite the trauma, resurrections, and copyright infringement. As guests filtered out into the night, one Franklin husband was overheard whispering, “Next time I’m just staying home and reorganizing my sock drawer.” He too had to be resurrected after his wifes reaction to what he said. It was a fashion show Franklin will never forget — mostly because they’ll be talking about it until the next one happens next week.
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