Study: Using Tasers to Keep the Elderly in Line

Scientists may have just discovered a way to deal with the stubbornness of senior citizens. In a controlled testing facility at the edge of Oil City, researchers at Venango County Campus were able to observe the effectiveness of electrical shocks on defiant elderly beings.

A controlled group of 20 people, age 75 plus, were locked in a room against their will. The group immediately exhibited concerning attitudes of rebellion which scientists noted as potentially dangerous.

"This first portion of our study shows the agressive nature of old people" says Genghis Kahn, researcher of behavioral health "imagine living with one of these people... The dangers are unpredictable!"

To see if the aggressors could be tamed, the researchers implemented electric shocks of varying proportions. It was determined that the tasing of the elderly did prove to immobilize them effectively showing that caregivers could benefit from being armed.

An additional study tested the impact of such methods on adolescents. A group of defiant teenagers were also locked in a room and told they would be there for life. The group did not seem to mind at first until their cell phones were suddenly locked. Once technology was taken away, the same defiant behavior as seen in the elderly was exhibited.

Scientists discharged varying magnitudes of electricity in the room. Because the children demonstrated more endurance than the elderly subjects, higher levels of shock were tested out. The scientists saw immediate results concluding that tasers are a viable resource for bringing elderly and adolescent folks into subjection.