For the first time ever, drivers are given the privilege of a detour that puts their car in harm’s way. According to sources, a detour sign directing cars to drive directly into oncoming traffic offers motor vehicle operators the thrill of wrecking their cars for no good reason at all. The picture was posted to social media this week and got widespread attention with an astronomical 4 shares. People commented with mixed emotions about the sign with some praising it and others stating that it is "not dangerous enough." "We have been asking for traffic laws to become nonsensical for years," states one person who doesn't exist. "Having a detour sign pointing in the wrong direction is a step in the right direction. However, we still are waiting for one to point cars to drive off the edge of a cliff." Venango County officials are working hard to change the traffic laws to less sensical standards. A bill was presented to the Venango County House of Representatives this week asking for both red and green to mean go at the same time. Officials state that giving all four crossings at an intersection the go-ahead would help drivers save time in making poor decisions. Unfortunately, the bill was vetoed because all the traffic lights in Venango County are burned out anyway. So far, no driver has taken advantage of the detour sign pointing drivers into oncoming traffic. Locals say that this is due to the potholes flattening their tires just before they can get to the intersection. PennDOT states that they intend to address this issue by not fixing it at all. The detour sign is not a permanent privilege. While officials are working hard to give the community a permanent sign, locals only have till next month to drive into oncoming traffic. Once the sign has served its nonsensical purpose, it will be placed in a nearby town where it will direct vehicles to drive into a brick wall.

The community is stunned after a Facebook user posted a question to a Venango crisis page. The user, who we will refer to as Mrs. Idon'tcheck Thenews, asked users if a shooting took place in Seneca this past Monday. In a digital age where news updates are posted to social media within minutes of a catastrophe, we understand why this user felt the need to verify their concerns with Facebook gossip. This way we can panic before things are verified. Now, approximately 30 impulsive reactors are mourning the loss of nobody after a non-existing active shooter took the lives of several people who never existed. Let's just get emotional before we confirm if something happened.... The absence of emergency vehicles concerns residents who can't take a hint from the sirens they didn't hear. Did the police fail to respond to the crisis that didn't happen? Or did they just tiptoe to the emergency to keep from waking people up? We can understand why the person posting the question doesn't take the lack of sirens and news updates as a hint that there wasn't a shooting. Why in the world would anyone call 911 in an emergency as severe as this before telling their friends through the grapevine. The majority of commenters on this post had common sense and suggested that the noise was either people target practicing or shooting off fireworks. Those of us who empathize with the ones lacking common sense would ask those with common sense to please show some respect. We know that the tragedy of losing nobody to a shooting that didn't happen is difficult to cope with. For those who are personally impacted by the loss of nobody, there is hope. Please call your local preschool if you are in need of an education.

Bridgefest took place this past weekend on Veterans Bridge in Oil City with a massive turnout reported Friday and Saturday evening. As the number one satiracle news source in the region, the Venango Republic wanted to beat the local media to the punch by reporting on something every other outlet would fail to cover, which is exactly why we chose to attend when all the big attractions were closed. By choosing the least interesting time to attend Bridgefest, we were able to catch details that the other major news outlets were surely to ignore. It was a scorching 224 degrees outside with a slight breese making it feel like 74 degrees. Our lead journalist, Jeremy Jetfuel, counted 13 pebbles on the ground. The attendance was so low at this point, the bordom could be seen on the faces of these men whose faces we blurred for thier confidentiality. Bored with blur.... Event coordinators enforced ethics with a sign warning all beer drinkers not to cross a line. We aren't sure if this sign is talking to people who bought their beer on the bridge or those who bought it off the bridge.... Like seriously..... Are you telling me not to bring my own beer or not to take the beer I buy home with me????? It's very confusing....... Whatever the case, those who ignore the sign are sure face several years of prison time or at least be told "Hey! Can't you read?" We aren't quite sure how the consequence will come since nobody was standing by to enforce the sign. But you line crossers are surely going to pay somehow! The first attraction behind the stage on Veterans Bridge featured a staircase leading to absolutley nothing. Visitors could climb these stairs, take one step too many, and enjoy the thrill off falling face first onto the concrete behind the barrier. The attraction also featured a sketchy looking van which mimics what kidnappers shove unsuspecting victims into. Attendees got to enjoy the thrill of bringing their lawnchairs onto the street, which on any other day, would result in them getting hit by a car. People could also pay $10 to have their faces drawn. Somehow, in an age where people stare at their phones every ten seconds, this guy still manages to sketch your chin with pinpoint accuracy. Jeremy Jetfuel has no chin The standout feature of Bridgefest was the overwhelming presence of alcohol vendors. We counted at least ten, not including the guy in a Halloween mask who might  have just been lost. Aside from a couple craft booths, a sketch artist, and some other interesting attractions, the majority of stops revolved around booze. This is not an issue by any means seeing that an antoxicating beverage is the perfect choice for a celebration suspended 100 feet above a river. We're just saying, with the variety in alcohol choices they could’ve easily called this event Beerfest. The evening featured live music and entertainment we were not present for because we suck at taking news seriously. We left just before the festivies became interesting making our article a horrible example of what truly went on. You're welcome.

The Venango Republic has made room on our platform for businesses we consider to be the "hidden gems" of the region. While we make a lot of jokes about the area in name of good satire, we make it very clear that our humor is in good fun and not meant to be a hindrance to the success we desire to see in the local community. With this said, those who follow our content may recognize this image in the thumbnail as the building we use for the "Venango County House of Representatives" in our satirical articles. In reality, this building actually serves a much greater purpose that is less ridiculous and more thought provoking. Once home to the local United States Postal Service, the building now serving as the Venango County Museum is one of the hidden gems of the region. It might not be the most mind-blowing trip one could make. But it is certainly one that will open your eyes to facts you likely did not know about the region. From industry, to public figures, to significant events, this tiny building captures more about the history of this region than one might assume at first glance. For seven years I have known about this museum and did not think to visit it once. However, like every other business this satirical news website prompted me to check out, I chose to reach out to the directors and see if they would be interested in a review. To the shock of the staff here at the Venango Republic, they said yes leaving us to wonder if they know what it is we actually do. We need to be completely honest and say, we did not expect these people to say yes. Originally, our plan was for them to say no and then write an article about what "might" be in the museum. At that point, we would just photoshop a bunch of exhibits from the Museum of Natural History next to barrels of oil leaking into the river. Now we have to set satire aside since it goes against our policy to defame businesses. Oh well.... Here is our review of the Venango County Museum experience with some humor mixed in. Right off the bat, visitors are greeted at the front desk. We forgot to take a picture of the front desk, so here is a picture of some wizard in a box that you also see when you enter. We think he dates back to when this box was made. Insert a coin and he'll do something Once you purchase the tour, you get a taste of some real historical facts that impacted more than just the oil region. Some of these facts date back to the Civil War era and pertain to the man who assassinated Abraham Lincoln. For those who don't know, Mr. Lincoln was a president of something at some point in time. According to the information on the tour, John Wilkes Booth once drilled for oil near Franklin but experienced the misfortune of his well collapsing. With no more funds to keep digging, he decided to kill the president. His change in career from digging wells to digging graves did not last long. Mr. Booth must have taken something away from his days of theater because moments after performing his stunt with the president, he took an old adage literally and "broke a leg." Interestingly, I know a marriage counselor in Lancaster PA who says he once worked with a couple who both descended from Lincoln and Booth. Not only is this ironic. It also speaks to how significant this assassination must be if centuries later, a couple must seek counseling for their marriage. Mr. Johny and his pistol Speaking of dead presidents, you can also see a recast of President Grant’s death mask in the opening display. This mask is exactly what Grant looked like when he was..... well..... dead! Why not a living mask????? Despite the dark humor flooding the opening of this article, there is room for less disturbing facts about Venango's history. For one, we have a letter from Abraham Lincoln to a female resident of Venango County. To avoid any chance of accidentally making a dark joke again, we will emphasize that this letter was written by Lincoln before he was assassinated. This fact is backed up by the reality that dead people can't write letters. Dear Emma, thank you for the oil funded Christmas dinner. Please exclude the fruit cakes next time. In good class, the Venango County Museum also recognizes other historical facts that may be overlooked by people who forget others lived here before the settlers. We won't make a joke about this because.... well.... we aren't idiots! We're not making a joke! Make up your own! We aren't idiots! The next section in the museum gives you the first taste of what early tech looked like in the industry of drilling oil. The following machine was designed in Ohio and has approximately 6 horse power. When you do the math, that's just enough to take your truck nowhere. Some kind of Oil Machine behind reflecting glass. Looks better in person. Many other exhibits in this section speak to the historical impact the region had on the world. We would talk more about this. However, aside from the fact that we don't want to spoil the details and make your visit unnecessary, we are also lazy and don't feel like writing about it. Just take our word for it that it is interesting. Here is a collage of pictures. DON'T READ THE DESCRIPTIONS! Don't read the descriptions! You will ruin your visit! The museum features remnants of the old Latonia Theater which some furniture shop decided to fill in with concrete. Local performers can book a show on the still existing stage where they can perform for a wall. What the museum was able to salvage from the theater were two golden peacock statues. These statues stand to honor the peacock which is not native to Venango County. Venango, which derives from a word meaning "otter" is also not native to Venango County. We keep representing our county with animals who are not from here. Bow before me! Do it before Moses finds out you built a calf and a peacock! Another historical piece recovered from the Latonia Theater is the organ. Still functioning and in good condition, the museum has the pipes for the organ assembled and working. This means they are ready for Count Dracula's return. Although the organ is loud, it is an awesome experience hearing it play as it gives the listener an idea of what would have been heard in the early 20th century. What interests me most about this portion of the tour is imagining the celebrities that would have visited this theater. The Latonia was open at a time when live performances of comedy and drama were common due to the limitations of prerecording shows. It would be interesting to know if people like Jack Benny ever set foot in this theater with his cast. If you claim to know who that is, you are probably a liar. Oh yeah! Here is the organ! Take that Debence! We have an instrument of our own! So, you think Venango County is limited to stories of dead presidents, their assassins, peacock statues and a theatrical organ? Think again! Next up on the list of interesting exhibits is this woman by the name of Ida Tarbell. We are slightly confused since last names originated from the occupations our ancestors possessed. Bells need to ring and tar is a kind of rubber. We aren't quite sure how this woman justifies her last name. What we are sure of, is that her investigative journalism was key to uncovering scandals in the first decade of the 20th century. With standard oil becoming a monopoly, Mrs. Tarbell used investigative journalism to influence the Supreme Court to put an end to the monopoly of the Rockefeller era. The Supreme Court ruled in 1911 that the standard oil trusts were required to break up into smaller corporations to make business fair. A picture of Ida in mannequin form can be seen below. She hasn't moved in decades! Here's a joke: a man turns to Ida and says "I had a bell made of chocolate. What did you eat?" Ida responds "Ida Tarbell." Now laugh and let's move on..... There is so much more to mention about this section. However, for the sake of keeping this article to a reasonable size, we are going to skip a lot of commentary and just give you a highlight of what you are able to see. As seen in the collage below, there is a lot to this section of the museum worth checking out. This covers oil industry technology, influencers, and parts of the world impacted by the local industry. From stuff The Oil Boom Spectacular exhibit was a must see for Venango enthusiasts when it was first opened in April. Several people posted their experiences to Facebook at the time which also prompted us to post an article encouraging people to check it out. For us however, the process of coming in to see the exhibits was delayed as we were just starting off with this concept of writing reviews. Now, we finally got to see first hand what this exhibit consists of. Mouth Something you may not have known about the history of Venango County is that elephants once roamed this area. No, we are not claiming they were native to the region. Only that they drove here, got out of their cars, and performed a circus act for people locally. Evidence can be seen below. Facts about elephants? Irrelephant.... Venango County used to take pride in their theatrical variety. Entertainment ranged from orchestral bands, to movie theaters, to live performances. There also might have been a guy occasionally playing trumpet on a street corner for change. Who knows? Proof people did things without cell phones. Another area of entertainment for the region was a location called Monarch Park. Created originally for the trolley system, the park became a popular site for people to visit regularly. It featured a merry go-round, rollercoaster, a small zoo with bears that could eat people, and other fun activities. The park went out of business once people learned to drive and decided they didn't want to take the trolley anymore. Monarch Park ends it's reign as people will not submit to its monarchy. There is a lot to this section that we do not have the space to cover. However, we would not be doing the museum justice by sharing what little we did without demonstrating what you get when you visit this exhibit. In nature of giving a more full picture, here is a more full picture.... BOOM! Spectacular! After finishing up with the Oil Boom Spectacular, the last section of the museum covers the story of Pennzoil. There is so much to the story itself, we won't try to cover it all. What we will mention is that his story dates back to 1886 and began with the purchase of a farm between Oil City and Titusville. This purchase became what we know as the company that eventually left us for Texas. Why they didn't change their name to "Texoil" is still a mystery. Pennzoil no longer based in Pennzoilvania... The Venango County Museum is a bit of a surprise for the fact that the building looks very small from the outside. Although it is not a major site, there is a ton of information that even I could not squeeze into this article without it being an overhaul. I can honestly say that this was a fun experience with a ton of exhibits I highly recommend checking out. Not to mention, the museum coordinators were very accommodating as I had two children with me at the time who were constantly needy. I don't know who they belong to. They just happened to come in with me and wouldn't leave me alone. But whatever.... Some important things to note about the museum is that they regularly hold events with their biggest current theme being the Silent Film Series. Two films have already been played so far with three more to go. The next showing will be September 13th and will feature Douglas Fairbanks "The Black Pirate." The Venango County Museum is also holding a fundraiser to help restore the Latonia Theater Organ. More information can be found on the museum's website. Finally, I would like to mention that there are a host of other projects and events in the works which can be found on the museum's Facebook page and on their website. However, we felt the most urgent thing to highlight was that the museum still has people wandering in from time to time with packages and letters requesting postage. We here at the Venango Republic recommended that the museum take advantage of the naïve visitors by selling stamps at a higher price than the going rate. Unfortunately, the director was too ethical to consider our suggestion. With this said, we have decided to make a public service announcement requesting all visitors to read the sign in the front lawn that says "Venango County Museum" and to ignore the engraved writing on the top of the building that says "United States Post Office." Observers will notice that the sign suggesting the place is a museum looks new whereas the one calling it a post office looks old. This suggests something. Please use common sense when visiting this building. This message brought to you by us, not the Venango County Museum. We here at the Venango Republic would like to thank the director and staff at the Venango County Museum for giving us the pleasure of a personal tour through the museum. We took lots of photos some of which were unfortunately unable to make it into this article. With this said, we want to encourage our readers to visit the museum yourselves and experience the history behind Venango County. It is easy to hear in conversations that there is "a lot of history" in this area without knowing what that truly means. The Venango County Museum defines that history giving visitors a taste of what the oil boom did for this region and how various events in time impacted the world.

Titusville, known for their historical accomplishments in space exploration, has achieved a new level of success in the altitude of their rocket launches. TASA, the Titusville Aeronautics and Space Administration, had taken a 5 month break from space exploration after a cold war with Venango County bankrupted the eastern side of Crawford County. Circumstances changed however when a 20 dollar bill was discovered inside someones pocket. The bill was immediately used to refund the TASA space program. TASA scientists took a trip to Walmart and bought a rocket in the toy section which they felt was best suited for their needs. The mission was almost unsuccessful had they not managed to wrestle the last rocket out of the hands of a kid who was trying to buy it for his class project. While this took several minutes, both employees were able to get the child off of their chests by offering to buy him a jelly roll in exchange for the rocket. After leaving the store, both scientists, who have graduated with honors in the 6th grade, attempted to launch the rocket just outside of Burger King. The rocket managed to go an astronomical 25 feet into the air which is a record for the town. This beats their record from last April where they were only able to make it ten feet, yet still declared they had been to space. "We look at things from the perspective that Earth is in space, meaning that we launched ours into space when it left the ground" states Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville, capital of East Crewford County. Experts fear this accomplishment may cause another cold war to begin between the two super powers of North Western PA. Venango has already prepared for war in the past, but was forced to stop because they ran out of money. Titusville, after sending two troops to invade Tionesta last month, still hasn't raised the money to send a vehicle to pick up their military from the edge of the road. With space exploration reaching new levels, we can be certain that Venango County will be responding to Titusville as soon as they can find the coffee can containing the Oil City treasury.

Yesterday, the Venango Republic publicized two articles about the traffic delays outside of Cranberry Township. The article's instantly went viral with 5 shares and 3 comments. Within minutes, conspiracy theories flooded the comment sections as to what may have contributed to the delays. Unfortunately, our summer intern, Big Foot, took a lot of heat from several.... Well.... Technically one guy. However, in the nature of blowing things out of proportion for the sake of newsworthy content, the Venango Republic will falsely report that 50 people blamed Big Foot. 50 shades of public opinion Staff for the Venango Republic quickly came to the defense of Big Foot who has become a respected member of both Venango and Clarion County. Despite having a history of running naked through the woods surviving on baby deer and possibly children, Big Foot sought professional help and rehabilitated himself to become a sophisticated public servant. Ye Ti, the winter intern for the Venango Republic, took to Facebook instantly after the allegations of him holding up traffic came to light. Blobbert Blobfish, Founder and CEO of the Venango Republic, had this to say about the incident. Jeremy Jetfuel, lead journalist for the Venango Republic, did not hold back his disgust for what the public is saying about Big Foot, going so far to suggest that it is the commenters who are the slow drivers. George Washington, official stone mason for the Venango Republic, as well as our news anchor, Mr. Dead Weight, offered their condolences to the victims of the Chicago Fire. As for Big Foot, he states that he will continue being the best person he can be and is even offering to cook for those who are trying to defame him.

A few moments ago, we posted an article about a mysterious 30-plus car lineup crawling along Route 322 at five miles per hour. That article is now officially useless, because traffic is suddenly moving fluently… and all those cars? Gone. Completely out of sight, like they were abducted by a higher power, or maybe just took the world’s most coordinated turn-off. The only clue to the slow-motion misery we all endured was a lone construction sign with flashing lights commanding DO NOT PASS. No cones. No workers. No explanation. Just the ominous glowing text, as if PennDOT itself had whispered, “Trust me, bro.” Since nobody seems to know why it happened, the conspiracy machine is already in overdrive: The UFO Carwash Theory — Every vehicle in the line was beamed aboard for a free wax and rinse, then dropped off on I-80. Witness Protection: Mass Edition — The entire 30-car convoy was actually undercover agents being relocated to safer Walmart parking lots. Secret Amish Parade — The road was briefly reserved for a high-speed buggy showcase, but only those in the slow lane could see it. Giant Turtle Crossing — A single enormous turtle was ushered across the road by a special PennDOT task force, and witnesses were sworn to secrecy. The “Oops, Wrong Button” Theory — Someone accidentally activated the DO NOT PASS sign while cleaning it, then went on lunch break. Time Loop Glitch — We were all stuck in a tiny time warp where every second was recycled until the glitch reset itself. For now, Route 322 remains clear, and drivers are back to pushing the speedometer to 5–10 mph over like God intended. As for the vanished 30-car parade, we may never know the truth — but rest assured, The Venango Republic will happily invent more theories until we do.

SENECA–CLARION — This is actually happening right now. No joke. It literally is. We are a satire website, but this is one case where we are not making this up. For some unknown reason, traffic on Route 322 is crawling at a blistering five miles per hour, with lines of 30 or more cars stacked up like it’s the world’s saddest parade. Eyewitnesses confirm the scene, with one driver reporting, “I aged three years between Cranberry Mall and the blinking light in Shippenville.” Another was overheard Googling “how to change your mailing address to your car.” Local commuters, who had zero forewarning of this mobile nightmare, are frantically texting bosses, canceling appointments, and evaluating which friendships are worth explaining this to. “I left early to be on time,” one frustrated motorist said. “Now I’m just hoping to get home before my car’s inspection expires.” PennDOT has offered no explanation for the slowdown, likely because they’re also trapped somewhere in the caravan. Officials advise residents to remain calm, breathe deeply, and maybe start waving to the other prisoners of this rolling purgatory. This public service announcement is brought to you by The Venango Republic — because if you’re going to be late, you might as well have something to laugh about.

When winter ends, drivers are relieved to have endured the traffic delays brought on by inclement snowy weather conditions. Spring arrives, and those behind the drivers seats are ready to push that speedometer to 5, and maybe even 10 miles above the speed limit, depending on how rebelious they feel like being. The drivers are free to go the speed limit without the fear of slipping and flipping. They roll down their windows and experience the joys of playing arm in the wind while trying to keep their limbs from hitting solid objects they are passing. All seems fine until they turn the corner and see some depressed dehydrated kid wearing dirt stained jeans and holding a stop sign. It is in this moment you are given a choice: Wait, or...... That's actually it.... You hit that gas pedal and you are going to jail.... Seconds go by..... Minutes..... Hours..... Now your just exaggerating! You need to be at your appointment 2 minutes ago but your procastination tendencies have forced you to leave no hang time for yourself. And now, your ability to drive is at the mercy of some guy holding a sign with multi personality disorder. You wait, and wait, and wait, until finally, he starts to turn that sign to the side that says slow. Unfortunately, he's doing it SOOOOO SLOWLY! Halfway into turning it and ten minutes have already past. This is the worst day ever! Fortunately, according to people we made up for the sake of lying about this promise, PennDOT will probably have every road done before Jesus returns. This promise came to us after we decided to lie about PennDOT making a promise they would never make. "It feels good to know that Jesus will come to find complete roads and nobody working outside" said absolutely nobody. "The roads have to be dug up yearly because otherwise, we would have no reason to keep our construction workers." Much like if Taylor Swift stopped breaking up with people, without road blocks, they would have no career. Locals are excited to learn that this will not last forever. Although Jesus might choose not to come until after we have flying cars and no need for roads, citizens of the area have expressed excitment over the promise that Penndott did not actually make because we are a bunch of liars. DON'T READ OUR CONTENT! WE CANNOT BE TRUSTED!

The Venango Republic has recieved criticism over the last few months for their misinformation on local affairs. We pride ourselves on our ability to insincerely deliver accurate news in ways that are totally different than what exactly is true. Recently however, the public outcry has become so concerning, we have tried looking for ways to deal with the criticism. Our creator, who we will refer to as the man whose existence we deny, has asked people in the comment section of public Facebook posts to help inspire fictional staff members who can deal with public disgust. At one point, we even asked a lady to let us copy and paste her pitbulls faces to the bodies of body builders so we could hire them as security guards. She never responded. Their pictures are below with blurred faces. Dog waiting for his owner to approve contract Today, a woman, who will refer to as Mrs. Forest Pope, gave us permission to create a character who can shrug at people who voice their grievences with our organization. Meet Mrs. Shruggarty, a local cat lady who shrugs at people complaining about our content, then turns and shrugs at us too. Why we are paying her, we don't know. Why she's hired? We don't know either.... Mrs. Shruggarty will begin tommorow. She will stand on the corner of the crumbling Catholic church in Oil City we falsly claimed to purchase as our headquarters. She will do nothing but shrug all day at people passing by.

Clarion’s closest thing to meteorological expertise, a few unqualified commenters on Facebook, have blamed Canada for a recent change in the sky color. According to unreliable sources, Canada's forest fires, which are wreaking havoc and devastation across their lands, have impacted nature’s tint and the result "is beautiful." A local man, who we will refer to as Mr. Blue Skywalker, took to a Clarion event page yesterday asking locals to explain the phenomenon of the orange sky. Two people clicked the love reaction because apparently this post meant something to them.... It did not take long for the opinions of local experts to flood the comment section as a massive ten commenters disputed indirectly with each other, some of which blamed Canada. This is not the first time Canada has been blamed for major mistakes. The nation has faced scrutiny for playing their anthem in hockey arenas in Florida, sending raccoons that know how to open garbage can lids, and a 15-year-old Justin Bieber. "Those Canadians and their Cigars again!" Wild fires get local womans approval! Yay! Other local experts did not blame Canada, but instead cited astronomical sources as the primary cause. Both commentors have been banned for making too much sense. Finally, our last expert believes Hiroshima 1945 took place somewhere around here..... What people think when they see Western PA.... Whatever the cause may be, our local experts are obviously all over the place with potential theories. From wildfires, to extraterrestrials, to nuclear warheads, one thing is for sure: If the sky turns plaid, we're declaring war on Scotland.

In a recent survey conducted by nobody, Pleasantville Pensylvania was given the dishonor of coming in last of all town claiming to be pleasant. This came after thirty thousand towns agreed to vote for eachother so that they would not be ranked the same as Pleasantville. The list is quite extensive and too much for our lazy brains to review. What is worth noting however, are the towns that came closest to last place after Pleasantville. Pleasantville, which had no votes due to the serveyors failure to inform them, came nowhere close to the next town, Pleasant Falls. Pleasant Falls, which has a declining population due to their residents driving off the cliff into the rocks sticking out of the water, had a total of three thousand votes. The third to last was a town named Pleasant We Think. This town is famous for being miserable and having a population of absolutely no one. After learning of the possibility of falling below Pleasantville, this town filed a complaint with the census bureau claiming that the failure to collect names at their location constitutes discrimination against the nobodies who live there. They came away with five thousand votes. In fourth place was an irish town named Pleasant-ish which prides itself on being pleasant when its residents are drinking. They came away with 74 kegs. The survey has spoken. Pleasantville is so lowly to outsiders, even its own county of Venango isolates it by causing the two main roads leading its direction to first exit into neighboring counties before re-entering to reach it. I'm just saying. Isn't it ironic we don't want a main road running through the middle of this map? It's like we first want people to cover themselves in Forest and Crawford before coming back to see us again!