The Debence Experience Is Worth Your Time

You walk by a shop expecting it to be a rundown antique store with junk the owners trying to get out of their garage. What you find instead is a crazy worthwhile experience to blow you away. OK, this isn't taking a trip to space in Elon's Space X. But it is something that you'll raise your eyebrows to in surprise. When you see the mechanics of the instruments inside Debence Music, you'll be amazed by what people were able to accomplish before Chat GPT. Not your thing? Stop being so Debencive and just try it!

Imagine a world with no technology. Just wood, nails, guitar strings, and a generation of numskulls who think Johnsons Snake Oil will cure the common cold. In the midst of these numskulls you find creative minds that build unique instruments like the Berry Wood AOW. The what you ask? Just look for yourself....

Why not destroy your pupils while listening to an ancient instrument?

No, this does not run on Chat GPT. And no, despite the instrument having highbeams, it cannot play The Weekends Blinded By The Lights. What it can do however is demonstrate the creativity of people who literally had no circuit boards in their generation. The fact that so many instruments are working in sync with eachother just in this box speaks to the masterful engineering behind the unit. Our lead journalist tried smuggling it out but they made him put it back....

What's most interesting about the Debence music collection is that many of the instruments are the last examples of their kind. Upon entry, there is an entire walkway on the right side of the first level with giant sized one man band instruments that have everything excluding the man. These last remaining examples are unfortunately unable to breed little baby versions of themselves because they're already dead....

Space heater not the last of its kind....

One of the most interesting pieces in the Debence music collection is the White Obnoxious Hummer. This ancient piece of technology is believed to date back to 1792 as an invention of Thomas Edison, who wasn't even born until 1847. The White Obnoxious Hummer litterally only makes one consistent anoying sound that is enough to drive you insane. You plug it into the wall, and while using the moisture in the air as fuel, the instrument generates a loud abnoxious sound that goes GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! That's how you spell the sound it makes...... The instrument can hold a note for as long as it can fill the bucket beneath it with water. The instrument must be emptied when the bucket is full for it to continue.

White Obnoxious Hummer cannot produce alcoholic beverages

Much more impressive than the White Obnoxious Hummer is the Wellershaus Fairground Organ. Despite having a name that sounds like a barbecue sauce brand..... Wellershaus..... This instrumental giant has an impressive history. Believed to date sometime before 1904 as a barell organ, the instrument had a surgical proceedure which transitioned it to an instrument capable of playing book music. It now classifies as a transiberian orchestra. The instrument likely traveled throughout Europe with a carnaval or circus before coming to the USA in the 1970s. Eventually, it was purchased by Jake (not from State Farm) in the early 1980s. It was initially declared unrepairable by professionals. Debence said screw it and began repairs in 2001 proudly declaring on their information sheet that repairs have been completed. So take that professional repair men who deemed this unrepairable!!!!!!

Wellershaus is better than A1!

The section consisting of almost extinct instruments has numerous impressive examples of human engineering. Unfortunately, we wasted so much time on the dehumidifier joke we can only show you pictures in the collage below. We have other sections of this museum but we will conclude this part of the article by saying we highly recommend checking this out if you really want to have a fun day. Howver, if you want to have a miserable day, then don't come.....

"We are the last of our kind.... We must stand together!" Epic movie line in the upcoming Debence Suspense film.

Just around the corner from the "last of our kind" section, the Debence Museum exhibits some of the first examples of Thomas Edisons wax cylinder recordings. These recordings are perfect for anyone who doesn't want the convenience of an MP3 player that can hold thirty thousand songs. Why not instead lug around thirty thousand wax cylinders. They are only limited to four minutes of audio which is perfect for people who want impractical options.

The new Edison car has 100 cylinders. Zero horsepower because it runs on wax.

The wax cylinders feature a nice vintage sound so that you know they are not modernly made. That helps sell the idea that they were not modernly made.

Do not light a wick on the cylinder.

The museum also features fragments from Edisons first attempts at wax cylinder recordings. Apparently, the first examples were extremely fragile and prone to break. We were unable to determine if these were those fragments or just chips off his skeleton.

Last remaining fragments of Edisons famous song "you broke me like a wax cylinder"

Want something even more inconvenient than lugging around an arm full of wax cylinders? How about the Regina 27' Dual Comb Disc Music Box? This thing could potentially replace your old grandfather clock. It's so huge it contains what looks like a Chinese cymbal on the inside which rotates to make the music. The only difference is that if you hit this one with a mallet, the Debence Museum will hit you with a lawsuit.

There is probably an app for this kind of thing.....

Want an obnoxious orchestra blasting noise in your face? Look no further than the Wurlitzer 148 Band Organ s/n 4020. With 18 horns pointing directly at your face, this is the perfect option for giving yourself a heart attack. Sleeping through your alarm? We're sure we can sync this to a timer....

Horn box playing its favorite number "Gone With The Woodwinds"

As you exit the main section, you will find a shelf with multiple stuffed frogs. Yes, these are real frogs disected and stuffed with saw dust. We just figured you ought to know the Debence family had a dark side. It really does contribute a whole lot of nothing to the museum. We would have been more impressed if the frogs could sing "hello my baby hello my honey" while dancing with a Kane in their hand. Unfortunately, they're dead....

Jeremiah was a bullfrog.... We just don't know which one.... Jeremiah was then frozen.... It looks like Jeremiah's done.....

One of the museums biggest annoyances is people dropping off records on their doorstep. For heavens sake people.... It's a museum.... Not a goodwill!!!! The museum requests that people wanting to make donations first contact them directly to see if they are interested. This was disappointing for us to learn since we really wanted to drop off a lawn mower. Nonetheless, people do still drop things off after hours forcing the museum to either throw them away, or try to put what they recieve to good use. An example of their creativity is the gift shop. Let the collage speak for itself....

A collage can't speak for itself because it's dead...

Once you're through with the main level, there's always the basement which contains many more instruments dating back to our ancestors. This level has countless organs with what we initially thought to be cup holders on the edges. Turns out you aren't supposed to set your Bud Weiser on these things. We had to learn the hard way....

Count Dracula apparently needs a beer for each hand....

Actually, those happen to be candle holders. That explains why they got mad about the Bud Weiser....

The basement also features creepy looking mannequins who look like they're tired of living in that basement....

The addition of the cigarette just makes sense....

The staff referred to the basement as a less impressive area. But honestly, you would still probably get a kick out of what you see down there. From a player piano, to upright organs, to creepy looking mannequins, there is a lot to unpack in this section. But we have no jokes for the basement. So we will leave you with this collage because we like using that fancy word....

Piano addicts would love this place. Piano Addicts Anonymous meetings every Friday at 3.

When finished with the first two levels, there is that occasional possibility of going upstairs to the second floor. This section has a lot as well but primarily has two instruments the museum wanted me to focus on. That's because these two instruments were likely created by extraterrestrial beings. Firstly, there is the Janko Piano which obviously requires a creature with 23 fingers.

Now you can play and type at the same time....

Secondly, there is the Theremin. Despite having a name that resembles a character from the Lord of The Rings trilogy, we suspect that the Theremin is also used to contact extraterrestrial beings. Either that or it's trying to mimic teenage drama....

Theremin cannot communicate with the dead...

We suspect that Mr. Sulu used the instrument in the following picture to pilot the star ship Enterprise. The museum denies this and called us insane for suggesting such nonsense.

We know this is yours Sulu.

One last noteworthy feature of the second floor is the mysterious messy room in the back. This room is off limits to the public, but we did manage to get a picture. We suspect that this is where they build their extraterrestrial instruments.

Do you see the Alien?

The last level of the Debence Museum features a concert room with seating that can't decide which way to face.

Rebel seats watching piano instead of stage....

The concert hall features a piano with self playing capability due to mechanical functions more advanced than your bathroom toilet. The USB outputs lead us to suspect this does not date back to the 1800s. What we were able to verify is that the piano can communicate telepathically with other instruments across town using WIFI.

USB from Edisons time....

There are several concerts to come. Information can be found in the picture below. To reserve tickets for the events already past, contact the museum and listen for them to hang up on you.

If you are reading this after Nov 7, 2025, you are too late! The concerts are done! Go home!

The Venango Republic would like to thank the management at Debence Antique Music World for allowing us to get a look at the collection in their museum. This was truly a thrilling experience and something we are grateful to have been a party of. Also, we are truly sorry for trying to smuggle the Berry Wood AOW out in our back pocket. It was such a nice instrument and we couldn't resist the urge. We initially weren't sure if we wanted to try but eventually decided to try to take it rather than just being on Debence about it.....