Population Plummets By 2 Residents

The Oil City population unexpectedly decreased this week when census takers discovered 2 residents unaccounted for. Upon investigation, it has been determined that Jerry Derry, who hasn't been seen since 2022, skipped town without telling anyone.

Census takers found it suspicious that Derry wasn't answering the door. A stench lingered from the house which sparked curiosity. When they opened the door they found that Derry left a life sized replica of a human skeleton on his recliner. For some reason, he soiled it in stench that attracted swarms of flies around the lifelike corpse.

"We knew he was depressed" said Derry's neighbor "we learned he contracted a minor illness called cancer, so we felt it was best to leave him alone till he got better..."

Derry's decision to skip town after recovering puzzles residents who are also confused why he left a stinky skeleton on his recliner.

This is not the first report of a skeleton showing up in the county. Last month, the Oil City International Bank opened their vault doors for the first time in four years. The combination was forgotten for that extended period until the manager remembered it was written on the vault door.

When the vault was opened, a skeleton with a similar stench was found lying on the floor. The manager suspects it was left behind by a disgruntled worker who unexpectedly stopped showing up to work the same day the vault combination was lost.

Census takers have tried to identify the second person who skipped town since the last Census. Unfortunately, after taking the last Census of 22 residents, they accidentally misplaced 5 of the names making it impossible to know who lived here at that time. The updated census of 20 Oil City residents will be publicized next week given nobody else skips town.