A group of motor cyclists are being investigated after allegedly using their bikes to do tricks at the Blues and Jazz Festival in Erie. The event took place Friday at some unspecified time in front of what most consider to be the second best stage. The matter was quickly resolved, but not before we figured out how to wildly exaggerate the circumstance for the sake of dishonest propaganda. Several non-existing witnesses had a lot to say about the situation. The few bikers we have escalated to be more than 50 are said to have driven their suped-up mopeds through each tent, leaving vendors with ruined merchandise. "My line of 'don't take dirt from anyone' merchandise is covered in mud!" says Mr. Cleanliness of West 6th Street. "I knew I shouldn't have left my bubble." Witnesses say they were completely covered as the bikers turned the Blues and Jazz Fest into a mud-slinging derby. Riders were said to have come down the hill on the north side of the stage, leaving many confused as to why they were riding so aggressively. Bikers descend into Frontier Park It was at this moment a ramp, suspiciously constructed on the back of the venue, showed its intended purpose, as bikers began ascending to the roof of the stage. Some smart guy is gonna comment how this isn't real "These dang kids on their dang e-bikes..." Batty Me Bow vented as he tried washing the mud stains out of his naturally black clothes. "I specifically choose this look so I don't have to use Tide. What the family-friendly version of the F word is going on here?" Batty Me Bow washes his clothes Mud stains were the least of everyone's concerns. The ramp leading up the back of the stage resulted in acrobatics many would consider a liability. Youth ignorance to pain "We thought that was part of the show. We thought it was a part of the setup," Mr. Peaceful Pledge told our reporters. "There's only four of us and like 500 of them. If it was 499, we could have stopped it, but they were too much to handle." Despite the drawbacks, band members tried their best to press on, keeping rhythm as the engines roared louder than their speakers. Dust in the Wind, Mud Edition The noise was obnoxious. But spectators say that the bikers were at least respectful of the wiring running to the stage. Onlookers praised how the vehicle operators jumped once they came within feet of the cords. Our apologies to Chapman. AI screwed up your name. "There were so many different models. Kawasaki, Yamaha, Norton Antivirus..." states Janice McAfee, wife of some famous computer nerd. "It was so overwhelming having thousands of dirt bikers flinging mud at us. Fortunately, I have a firewall to protect against mudware." By the time authorities were notified, the bikers rounded the nearest corner and made their retreat on the nearest walking trail. Biker break Bows land Police say they made a narrow escape, stopping roughly three times to recharge their batteries. Respectfully, they at least obeyed every posted speed limit, maintaining a consistent bunny-hop speed. Those responsible for the incident are still at large because they eat donuts and never get off their scooters. Anyone with information is encouraged to contact the nearest relatives so they can pick up their dementia patient and return them to their village. For more information on how you can help scooter gangs overcome their delusion, contact the tip line for Elderly People with Fragile Hips. Elder abuse is illegal and should not be joked about... Oh well...

President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America is weighing in on the conflict between Millcreek and the City of Erie. After learning of the two townships going to war over the giant Mall Gun pointed in Erie's direction, Blunders has threatened to use his influence to force Millcreek to bend to his will. Satalite view of Millcreek's giant Mall Gun pointed toward Erie The only problem facing Blunders is that he has no influence. He is literally just the Mayor of Oil City. Despite appointing himself the President of Venango County and making the decision to secede from the United States, every other county in Western Pennsylvania still does not know he exists. In spite of the reality surrounding Blunders' lack of authority, he is still convinced Venango County is the superpower of Western Pennsylvania. Late Friday evening, Blunders stood before the press outside of City Hall, which is the City Outhouse, threatening to put sanctions on Millcreek if they do not comply with his demands to disassemble the Mall Gun pointed in Erie's direction. Mayor Blunders on the steps of City Hall Mayor Wastecash was quick to ignore Blunders' demands, citing that he has never heard of Oil City before. When reporters attempted to follow up with a question about Wastecash's potential curiosity regarding this "Oil City," Wastecash left the room, stating he was "too busy for fictional discussions." This comment left the press confused because he literally is a made-up character. Wastecash stuns the press with hypocritical statement about existence Now, Blunders is resorting to a new method of intimidation. As an ally to the City of Erie, President Mayor Blunders has ordered military intervention to crush the Millcreek rebellion. Unfortunately, two-thirds of Venango's military was ordered to cross the border of Clearfield County into the nation of Uganda several weeks ago to help crush the Ebola Uprising. Laurel and Hardy of the Venango County military last seen in Uganda With Blunders down to one military member, he must decide if it is worth trying to convince the mother of 9-year-old Timmy to let her son go to Millcreek. The last time Timmy was sent on a mission, he spent several weeks lost in Allegheny National Forest, which resulted in his parents being sent to prison because of his tardiness from school. 9 year old Timmy taken home by his mother shortly after her release Blunders has likely lost the trust of little Timmy's parents, leaving him with no military to threaten Millcreek. Blunders says he will try anyways. Following Wastecash dismissing discussions about Venango County's intervention, Blunders told the press that he will be sending five thousand men armed with the highest-rated weaponry available. This, of course, is a blatant lie. Blunders has nobody and barely has enough change to buy breakfast in the morning. Millcreek will likely keep its Mall Gun assembled, while Blunders continues to live in his imagination of being a superpower.

The southern portion of Allegheny County is at risk of being split in two after the fall of South Park on Wednesday. Washington's troops are mobilizing and preparing to move on Pleasant Hills Township if Allegheny troops do not relocate quickly enough to defend it. In a press briefing today, Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, voiced his motivation for the campaign he has placed on the shoulders of his army. "We are but a people of one identity, sworn to defend the nature of that cause." Mayor George Washington stand before the press Friday afternoon The mission to take possession of Mount Washington in Pittsburgh comes with the challenge of figuring out how to drag the giant terrain back to their homeland. Armed with muskets dated to the 1700s, the army of Washington County has no practical way of moving the massive pile of land they take pride in. Despite the limitations, the military presses on, posing a threat to southwestern Pennsylvania's superpower. Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh, who has already ordered the invasion of Lawrence County, has only a small number of troops remaining at his disposal for the defense of Allegheny's capital. The question remains if the steel bodies of this military can hold up against the iron bullets that will inevitably be fired upon them.

Washington County has officially moved into Allegheny territory, laying siege to the industrial city of South Park Township. Residents are now in a state of emergency, being forced to live under the oppression of musket-weilding weirdos. To make matters worse, they have reportedly killed Kenny. The event took place at around 9 o'clock Wednesday evening, when several soldiers, all of whom are named George Washington, marched onto the city, taking possession of major roadways such as Library Road, Brownsville Road, and Cochrans Mill Road. Washington County troops stand guard at Cochran Mill Rd Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh has ordered the mobilization of his armies in the southern territories of Allegheny County. With Washington determined to regain its rights to Mount Washington, Mayor Steelhead states that it is vital to the security of his nation that they secure the border of South Park and drive Washington's troops from their lands. Allegheny troops gather in Bridgeville Experts state that this is the opportune time for Washington County to move into Allegheny territory. Much of the Allegheny military has recently landed in Lawrence County in what Mayor Steelhead calls "Operation West Pittsburg." Several months ago, Steelhead noted that Lawrence County has a West Pittsburg just south of New Castle, the capital of Lawrence County. Despite the allegations that Lawrence County stole Allegheny's western half of its largest city, Sir Lawrence of New Castle continually insists that the West Pittsburg south of New Castle originated in his region. Sir Lawrence presents his best evidence for his county's claim to West Pittsburg Allegheny's demand for West Pittsburg has now led Washington County to threaten the security of Allegheny as a nation through military force in order to regain Mount Washington from Pittsburgh. In the eyes of Mayor George Washington of Washington County, Mayor Steelhead's demand for West Pittsburg is an act of hypocrisy because of his unwillingness to surrender Mount Washington to the nation of Washington County. Mount Washington in Pittsburgh Today, Washington County's threat to invade Allegheny has been fulfilled, with South Park now in the hands of Washington County troops. The question remains whether Allegheny has the military might to deter the enemy forces from continuing their objective. Experts say that this is more than likely, since everyone of Pittsburgh descent is literally made of steel. Despite the impenetrable nature of Allegheny soldiers, there is no doubt that Washington's troops will still attempt to press forward. Armed with muskets tipped with iron bayonets, their intent is to charge, striking fear into the hearts of soldiers made of a stronger metal. With failure literally being the only option, Washington County is what experts best describe as insane. Meanwhile, on the east side, Mayor Rebel of Westmoreland County states that he is available to support Allegheny with whatever means are necessary. Mayor Steelhead has rejected this offer, since Westmoreland's only reason for supporting Allegheny is the hope of taking more land west of its county. In a press briefing today, Steelhead called out Mayor Rebel, accusing him of trying to use trickery to measure borders that will later be moved for expansion. Steelhead did not stop with this accusation, but also asserted that because every soldier for the Whiskey Rebellion is made of glass bottles, they will break during the first second of engagement with Washington County. Mayor George Washington of Washington Township, capital of Washington County, addressed the press today, telling reporters that his reason for capturing South Park was due to its historical significance in the Whiskey Rebellion. Washington states that if Mayor Rebel wishes to become an ally to the nation of Washington County, he can assure him more land, as he has desired, since the beginning of his county's establishment. Mayor George Washington of Washington County on the left. Mayor Rebel of Westmoreland on the right. Mayor Rebel was unable to respond to Washington's offer. Having a face made of a whiskey bottle means that Mayor Rebel is always drunk when his bottle is filled. Additionally, he doesn't have a mouth, making it impossible to know what he is saying. What we do know about Westmoreland is that they have a history of trying to take Allegheny land secretly. If not for the wit of Mayor Steelhead, the border of Allegheny would be much smaller. Fortunately, the Whiskey Rebellion says they are not willing to risk their bottlenecks over an invasion that can be accomplished slowly. Instead, Washington is doing all the work for them. The battle is ongoing with no shots officially fired at this time. Reports state that Washington troops are already facing a new challenge with trying to figure out who is who. Otherwise, the Venango Republic can safely say that Washington County has successfully confused itself before confusing the enemy.

Three unrelated communities are now feeling personally attacked after a sign and a series of Facebook posts caused their worlds to collide. A billboard displaying a red mark over the part of a man that produces controversial life decisions seems to target people who get shot between the legs. This, however, is not the target audience. When using the talent of reading, observers quickly discover that it is actually speaking to those who clipped their junk. Meanwhile, the Flagship is focused on you.... This protest against the removal of disposable tissue has caused many to feel incredibly awkward when driving to Presque Isle. Not for the fear that a sea wolf may bite theirs off, but simply because it is a stupid movement. Nonetheless, one individual could not help but speak up for the circumcised who feel attacked by their parents' life-changing decision. "I am bald, and feel bad that someone would shame people for clipping away something they have a right to remove," states Mr. Clean of Erie, Pennsylvania. "I just know what it is like to be judged for removing my hair, so I wanted to speak up for people who buzzed off that other spot." Speaking out came with several arguments unrelated to the sign. In his Facebook post against the billboard, Mr. Clean suggested that those responsible for making the sign are trying to link circumcision with autism. "Erie was so welcoming. They even had a bloodstained crotch sign condemning circumcision!" Yeah..... The sign doesn't say anything about autism..... But ok.... We here at the Venango Republic wanted to see if there was something to this concern about Bloodstained Men linking circumcision to autism. After visiting the website for Bloodstained Men, we learned that their nonprofit is actually just a billboard.... They mention billboards three times and have two information pages about billboards Who the hell advertises billboards on their website? I thought your business was circumcised men. No information on how cutting the foreskin impacts people? You know the billboard is supposed to be an advertisement, right? You are basically advertising the advertisement when you include your billboard in the header. "For more information about this billboard, please visit our website, where we can casually direct you back to this billboard." With no information to draw from Erie's chapter of the Bloodstained Men movement, other than their pride in renting billboards, we can safely say that autism has not been made a subject. Instead, they are bragging about billboards. Meanwhile, the autistic community is feeling attacked by the fact that a bald man would suggest they are circumcised. "Rainman mad at Mr. Clean. Rainman very mad," Rainman expressed as he organized the toothpicks on the floor. Other autistic residents of Erie were not so offended due to their shared baldness. "We does not wants to talk about it," Smeagle told reporters as he moved to the corner to gawk over his ring. With circumcised men and autistic individuals now on the receiving end of scrutiny, only one group remains. In response to the initial post made to complain about the sign, another Facebook user has countered with their own form of slander. Great! Now the bald community can feel attacked too. Everyone feels insulted. Even the guy telling people not to discriminate is discriminating. We are all pricks and can take pride in this common divisive trait. As for the science, we still don't know why a cut that heals in ten days causes more lifelong trauma than when a girl at school kicks you in the same spot. Apparently, it warrants starting a nonprofit that purchases billboards and brags about having them. Now, they at least have billboards to prove why it's worth risking infection to keep your foreskin.

A goose native to Erie became the victim of a hit and run this week, causing the community to lose their shoot. According to sources in the flightless bird community, Arnold Quack of Erie was tending to his duty as an existing goose in the Wintergreen Gorge Cemetery, a public attraction with lifeless human exhibits. While attempting to cross the road, Mr. Quack suddenly joined the lifeless human exhibits when he was run down by a vehicle, officially ending his life. Authorities say they are clueless as to what motivated the killing of Mr. Quack. So far, the only evidence is a lifeless bird sitting on the pavement in the Wintergreen Cemetery. Investigations are ongoing with the lack of progress hinting as to why nobody ever bothers to ask, "Why did the goose cross the road?" With social media now in an uproar, pressure is on for police to determine who hit the feather weight. DNA tests are being performed on all cars in a five mile radius to determine if any goose droppings made it onto a vehicle. So far, they have only discovered damaged cars with remnants of deer, possums, raccoons, dogs, and cats. No charges are being pressed since nobody seems to give a crap. Meanwhile, the goose killer is on the loose. Locals are being asked to keep their geese away from the cemetery until further notice.

An attempt to promote violence? Or an honest mistake? That is the question plaguing many locals who thought they knew Brenda McCullough personally. A social media post encouraging its readers to believe that they make the world a better place is facing backlash because of its potential violent implications. Rather than expounding on the statement, McCullough left it vague enough for anyone to be encouraged by the sentiment, including Adolf Hitler, who was among the readers commenting his gratitude for the reassurance. "I was beginning to reconsider my years of violent tendencies before seeing this post," states Adolf Hitler, founder and CEO of a military that can't see for some reason. "This post encouraged me to continue my dream." Other readers were perplexed by the statement, saying that if McCullough was truly against antisemitism, she needed to be more clear about who she was writing to. "I'm not buying this idea that she simply made a mistake," states Karen Mouthfull of Union City. "The minute you make a statement applicable to everyone, you support everyone, including Hitler." McCullough has tried her best to resolve the issue. Earlier today, she posted a less motivational message. Unfortunately, she once again kept it vague. "She could be talking about the good people with that follow-up post," Mouthfull told the press. "I just think that if she was sincere, she would be more transparent about who she stands with." Because of the vague nature of these posts, discussions are still pending with the moderators of Facebook as to whether McCullough should be banned. Experts are warning that even if there was no ill intent, there is no telling what other scum could have been encouraged by the choice of words. McCullough says she meant no harm in the message, but states that the vagueness will remain in her post for personal reasons.

More than a year and a half ago, an executive order was signed by President Mayor Blunders to change the Allegheny River to the Gulf of Venango. It is now late July in 2026, and Venango County has been unsuccessful in convincing Allegheny County to surrender their rights to the name. Several intimidation tactics have been used to put pressure on Pittsburgh's Mayor to sign away the rights to the Allegheny River. Attempts to raise tariffs by three hundred percent instantly went nowhere given the lack of trade between the two counties. Constant phone calls have also wielded no results, with the Mayor of Pittsburgh making the choice to simply block Blunders**'** contact. Blunders only has access to a rotary phone and has no idea what cellular technology is. Despite Mayor Steelhead of Pittsburgh blocking Blunders**'** number, calls are made daily with the assumption that the voice mailbox is full. Now, Blunders is trying a third means of intimidation to send a message to Mayor Steelhead. This is the same message that hasn't gotten through for the last year and a half. Blunders announced two days ago a plan to send a letter every day until Allegheny County agrees to surrender the river. As of this morning, Blunders**'** first letter has come back with a "return to sender" stamp on the envelope. After careful examination by Venango County Secret Service Agents, it has been determined that the letter has no stamp. An executive order has been signed requiring all letters to go to their designated location regardless of whether they are stamped or not. When asked by press members why he did not just put a stamp on the letter, Blunders pretended we asked about the new Gulf of Venango deal. We were only able to find out about the county's inability to afford a stamp thanks to the Speaker of the Venango County House of Representatives, which is the Mayor's sister. Mayor Blunders**'** sister does not like him and willingly showed us how his excessive spending has left the county without funds for a stamp. The executive order is being ignored by the United States Postal Service. According to sources, they are under federal authority and not subject to Blunders**'** demands. Blunders says he intends to continue sending letters without stamps until they give in. Meanwhile, he is consulting experts on what other ways he should put pressure on Pittsburgh.

Western Pennsylvania's most famous crime families are at war after a member of the Genevieve family spread rumors about Gamblingcasino boss Jon Got Ye. Information is still vague, with reports only confirming allegations that the Genevieve family intentionally used prayer request time to implicate guilt against the Gamblingcasino family's longtime leader. Sources say a member of the Genevieve family stood up at the First Presbyterian Church in Clarion to request prayer for Jon Got Ye. The request came with claims that the Genevieve family caught wind of Jon Got Ye's intent to extort tithes and offerings to promote a big community social featuring family-friendly contests requiring payment to play. Jon Got Ye denied the implications, stating that as a longtime Amish man, he would never seek to gamble except outside of a church setting. Got Ye then realized how unusual it is for an Amish man to be attending a First Presbyterian Church. He immediately left the scene. Gang wars are not uncommon in the western Pennsylvania region, with the most recent conflicts existing between the Bananna family and the Lunchandcheese family. This time, however, conflicts will not involve banana peels left on the ground or aggressors trying to slap people with a piece of bologna. Instead, it seems the Genevieve family is using wit to undermine the reputations of the rival gangs. There is no certainty as to how the Gamblingcasino family will respond to this attack on their boss's reputation. The crime family is most notable for their roots in much more populated regions, where casinos helped fund their crime waves. After making the unfortunate decision to move to the most isolated regions of western Pennsylvania, they have no casinos and spend most of their days in local gas stations trying to get by on the less preferred slot machines. Church attendance was not formerly a common practice among the Gamblingcasino family. They only started once they realized they could use the prayers to help increase their luck with the slot machines. Now, it has come at the cost of the Genevieve family ruining their reputation with the use of gossip. The Gamblingcasino family would unload on the Genevieve clan if it weren't for the financial drawbacks preventing them from purchasing the necessary weapons. For the time being, they're forced to come up with their own rumors to hopefully destroy the Genevieve family's reputation.

It is another cause for dispute between East Crawford in its rivalry with Venango County. A sign claiming more territory than what Google has permitted Titusville to possess is causing widespread confusion over the implication that the township is bigger than it actually is. The damage? Over a thousand meters, which equates to roughly 3,280 feet by English standards. To help put this into perspective, that's just over six hundred twenty-one thousandths of the 5,280 feet that make up a mile. We have created a diagram to show this concept in its simplest form. Errors may exist in the logic The origins of the sign are unknown. But passersby noted Monday that it welcomes people to Titusville way before they ever reach the actual town. Consequently, those living between the sign and the actual border are stunned to learn that they are not actually Titusville citizens. Those who are citizens are now observing them as outcasts. "I just can't believe I am actually of Venango County blood," states Mr. Oil Guzzler of that unmarked dirt road which begins right on the actual border of Titusville. Dirt road just outside of Titusville "I was welcomed with open arms for years. Today, people downtown won't stop looking at me with suspicion." Ironically, Titusville says they will not allow the sign to be removed, citing the territory as their own. Mayor Dumbdumb of Titusville has since signed an executive order stating that any attempt to remove the sign will result in a new sign being placed ten feet closer to Oil City. President Mayor Blunders of the Venango States of America addressed the matter before the press today after taking his time to ensure the media microphones were not bugged. He states that if Dumbdumb places a new sign ten feet closer after the initial sign is removed, Venango County will use military force to build their own sign, claiming the first ten feet of Titusville as Venango County territory. Upon hearing this threat, Dumbdumb retaliated with the threat of constructing another sign even ten feet closer than the one replacing the first sign. Blunders retaliated, threatening to replace his sign with one claiming ten more feet of Titusville territory. The debate is still going on. Blunders has already claimed as far as Fat Chad's, while Dumbdumb is still trying to reach the Penn RV Center so he can claim to have something worthwhile. The debate is expected to continue until one of the signs finally lands at the border of Erie or Butler. Until then, both mayors are standing outside announcing retaliations to press members who have already gone home. Dumbdumb on left, Blunders on the right We will keep you up to date on the progress of these situations.

Millcreek Township residents can relax after another cliché coyote sighting has been revealed to be the Chuck E. Cheese rat taking a smoke break. A viral post on the All Things Happening Millcreek group left hundreds of residents in fear Sunday morning when they perceived the alleged perpetrator as a coyote. Fortunately, a handful of observers were able to identify the suspect as Charles Entertainment Cheese, mascot of the Chuck E. Cheese franchise. The picture of Charles the rat was posted to Facebook around 9:32 AM Sunday morning. Within minutes, it received widespread attention from everyone acting like they have never observed a coyote in Millcreek before. Experts state that the failure to recognize it as Charles stems from poor quality that would give Erie News Now a run for its money. Additionally, the rat was smoking on a public sidewalk without his clothes on because he is a perv. These combining factors made it difficult for social media viewers to distinguish the rat from a regular coyote. It wasn't until 11:48 AM, after several people bought their own shotguns, that a local resident identified the rat. Mildred Mouthwash, a local resident famously banned from the Presque Isle Downs Casino, and who has no other option but to gamble at Chuck E. Cheese, recognized her friend instantly after observing the sign above him. Commenters were skeptical at first, challenging Mildred's ability to determine the difference between an oversized rat and a normal-sized coyote. It was at this moment she surprised everyone with her level of confidence when she informed social media that she would "bet her life on it." Those who can't stand Mildred were pleased by the proposal and began loading their shotguns in the event that they could win the right to kill her. Mildred was lucky after forensic scientists were able to determine she was right. This is not the first time a local figure was mistaken for something unwanted by the public. In 2017, a sign depicting a 4-degree temperature went viral when people mistook it for a stick figure taking a dump. The internet was outraged and demanded all sexually explicit stick figure imagery be removed from the internet. Unfortunately, they couldn't figure out which ones were unclothed by two-dimensional standards. Charles the rat has not commented on the incident. As one who works to professionally entertain and scare children at the same time, we chose not to reach out given the level of stress his job carries. Instead, we ask everyone to double-check their sources before accidentally reporting Charles as a coyote. While you are in fear of coyotes piling on your children, Charles has to live in fear of your children piling on him. That is a lot to handle, considering your kids are probably not bathed in the first place.

Following the unfortunate death of Llamar Llamley, an Erie native outspoken against the gun shaped Mall in Kearsarge, Mayor Paranoia of Erie authorized opperation payback, in which several Erie militia armed with chicken nugget cannons were instructed to march into Millcreek to gain control of the neighboring rival. The dispute between the neighboring townships began more than three weeks ago when the leaders of the City of Erie realized Millcreek owns all the land south, west, and north of them. With Wesleyville being the only escape route, matters escalated more when it was brought to Mayor Paranoia's attention that Millcreek has a giant mall gun pointed their direction. Millcreeks cliche joke Despite sanctions that went absolutely nowhere, Millcreek refused to dissassemble their giant mall gun, and eventually fired adult diapers from Victorias Secret stash. Diapers rained down on Erie for days before Erie finally dropped a pool noodle outside the Mall. No one was injured with reports confirming the pool noodles failure to detonate. After a day of waiting, the Millcreek Bombsquad was able to successfully discharge the noodle with the protective covering of a sheet. It was at this moment, a Llama, who has been identified as Llamar Llamley of 501 C Alpaca Street in Erie, charged the officers detonating the pool noodle. Millcreek officials claim Llamley spat at them, endangering their safety. Phlem was returned which resulted in the death of Llamley. Several protests instantly erupted in the streets of Erie before the llama community realized Llamars death was Millcreeks fault. Shortly thereafter, several protests instantly erupted in Millcreek with llamas calling for justice over Llamar's life. Llamas move on Millcreek Wednesday afternoon, a massive militia of 4 men stormed Peach Street with chicken nugget launchers. Witnesses report they successfully made it to the mall where they sat and waited for something to happen. Unfortunately, dinner time was appraoching and they had to leave to go home to their wives. Nobody was injured during the battle. Millcreek's leader, Mayor Wastecash says that he intends to counter the devastating onslaught brought on by the militia of Erie, capital of Erie County. Because Erie is the one independent county without a military, each township has their own conflicting government. Wastecash intends to raise his own army to strike back in hopes of making Millcreek the capital, thereby changing Erie County’s name to Millcreek County. Despite having a lower population, Millcreek does have the upper hand. The only drawback is that this portion of Millcreek is incredibly vulnerable since the beaches close at 7:30. This forces all defenses to vacate until dawn. We have yet to see if Erie will try to take the beaches of Presque Isle. Today's attack gives everyone a small look at their potential. The hope for Millcreek is the possibility that the City of Erie is bound to the same standard of vacating the beaches after 7:30 as well. This would force their militia to attack during normal park hours. We are waiting to hear from authorities to determine if invaders from Erie would be cited for trespassing under such conditions. Until then, the primary concern is if they will return to continue the attack attempted on Wednesday.